So much for blogging more regularly! I've been pretty busy lately though so that's my excuse. Instead, have a poem:
Journey to the Past
My booted feet refuse to move
As I stare down at what I used to know.
Shells of buildings
People and memories long forgotten.
This is not my home.
The ghosts of my past
Stare with empty eye sockets
As I make my way through deserted streets
I close my eyes
Listen to the silence.
The wind whistles through gutted buildings
Entire walls missing because of an explosion
Or two.
Slowly, slowly…
The smell of neglect fades
Instead the tang of fruit stalls fills my nostrils.
When I open my eyes
The present lifts like a dust sheet
And the past comes to life once more.
Tuesday 11 November 2008
Monday 27 October 2008
Gone
You came to me once
In a dream
At least I think it was a dream…
You smiled at me
Warm and friendly
When you should hate me.
How can you smile here
Enclosed as you are
Trapped within these walls.
You held out your hand
Beckoned me closer
But I couldn’t move.
The grass was cold beneath my bare feet
Still wet
I wanted to apologise.
I think you knew that
But the words wouldn’t come.
And when I blinked
Rows of grey stone crosses faded to black
And it was too late.
You were gone.
In a dream
At least I think it was a dream…
You smiled at me
Warm and friendly
When you should hate me.
How can you smile here
Enclosed as you are
Trapped within these walls.
You held out your hand
Beckoned me closer
But I couldn’t move.
The grass was cold beneath my bare feet
Still wet
I wanted to apologise.
I think you knew that
But the words wouldn’t come.
And when I blinked
Rows of grey stone crosses faded to black
And it was too late.
You were gone.
Tuesday 21 October 2008
The Never Found
Cross-posted to my writing journal, as is most of my creative writing.
The Never Found
The sky is heavy here
A cold grey veil
I can’t escape
It’s stifling here
Where the air is fresh
But alien. I can’t breathe,
Feel trapped.
It is only now that I can
Can bring myself to visit.
Four year passed
So much has happened
Yet so little.
Do you watch us?
You are nowhere,
Everywhere at once.
A stone cross marks the place
Where you should be.
I turn away; I’ve seen enough.
The Never Found
The sky is heavy here
A cold grey veil
I can’t escape
It’s stifling here
Where the air is fresh
But alien. I can’t breathe,
Feel trapped.
It is only now that I can
Can bring myself to visit.
Four year passed
So much has happened
Yet so little.
Do you watch us?
You are nowhere,
Everywhere at once.
A stone cross marks the place
Where you should be.
I turn away; I’ve seen enough.
Monday 20 October 2008
Midnight wanderings of the mind
As someone studying Creative Writing, you would think that Imagination would be one of your most valued tools.
So what do you do if you are actually somewhat scared of Imagination? It almost seems a silly thing to say; how can someone be scared of something that they themselves control? But just how much control do we have over Imagination, really? As children we can be told that we are safe tucked up in bed, but that doesn't stop the shadows coming to life. "There's nothing there," we tell ourselves, repeating the mantra, "it's all in my head, it's all in my head." But to be honest, that's worse than if the Big Bad, whatever it is waiting in the dark that we fear, was real. A physical entity can be hidden from - a burglar about to kill you, for example, might not find you if you hide under the bed or in the wardrobe. A giant waiting to crunch you up as a midnight snack will find you wherever you try and hide. Why? Because it only exists in your mind, and therefore everything you know, it knows. You can tell youself it's not real, but Imagination has an annoying habit of whispering "but what if...?" and thus the niggling doubt refuses to listen to Sense and Rationality.
I used the examples of a burglar and giant because these are two fears that plagued me as a child and caused many a sleepless night. Imagine, if you can, a child's bedroom, rectangular in shape: it is quite dark - the carpet is dark brown with flowery shapes in a lighter shade; the wallpaper, though a white background, is covered with pictures of various breeds of dinosaur repeated over and over, dull greens, purples, greys; the curtains are a heavy, black-out type, brown to match the carpet. The bedroom door is always open - not the child's choice - and yellow light floods in from the landing. Along the far wall is a clothes airer, kept in this bedroom because it is the most spacious. Of course, the combination of the landing light and drying clothes means shadows appear with ease - baggy jumpers and trousers morph into a stranger who has broken into the house and is waiting for the child to close her eyes before leaping from his hiding place and killing her before ransacking the house. The child becomes too scared to turn her back on the room, should this scene take place. She convinces herself that if she sleeps with her back to the wall so that she is facing the rest of the room, she will be safe.
Unfortunately it is not that simple, for the child is a fan of the film The BFG, based on the book by Roald Dahl. It's a vicious circle; she loves the movie and enjoys watching it, but the bad giants, in particular The Blood Bottler, terrify her. She is convinced that they are coming for her, and the fact that her bed is against the wall directly beneath the long window only makes it easier for them to reach in and snatch her from her bed.
Again, she tells herself that if she sleeps facin the window, then they will not get her (I'm not entirely sure I follow her logic. Perhaps, even at that young age, she was trying to literally face her fears? Or maybe that's just hindsight and logic speaking, as is often the case with anecdotes from the past). But then what of the burglar so cleverly camouflaged in the family's washing? Facing the window would ensure safety from being eaten but result in being stabbed or strangled, and vice versa if she faces the room.
Obviously such thinking is illogical and simply the result of an overactive imagination. It is cruelly ironic that what allows such pleasure from creating games to play in daylight can be the same thing that keeps you in Fear's icy grip, unable to sleep at night. Even now, while my dreams generally take a different path (ignoring the fact that yes, I did have a nightmare where the Blood Bottler was after me only earlier this year...), I still sometimes find myself uneasy when it comes to bedtime simply because I don't want to dream.
Perhaps it is natural to fear Imagination, to some extent. After all, it is one of the few things in the world that can go anywhere, good or bad. It was thanks to someone's imagination that the atomic bomb was created.
All I want to know is, how do you turn off your imagination?
So what do you do if you are actually somewhat scared of Imagination? It almost seems a silly thing to say; how can someone be scared of something that they themselves control? But just how much control do we have over Imagination, really? As children we can be told that we are safe tucked up in bed, but that doesn't stop the shadows coming to life. "There's nothing there," we tell ourselves, repeating the mantra, "it's all in my head, it's all in my head." But to be honest, that's worse than if the Big Bad, whatever it is waiting in the dark that we fear, was real. A physical entity can be hidden from - a burglar about to kill you, for example, might not find you if you hide under the bed or in the wardrobe. A giant waiting to crunch you up as a midnight snack will find you wherever you try and hide. Why? Because it only exists in your mind, and therefore everything you know, it knows. You can tell youself it's not real, but Imagination has an annoying habit of whispering "but what if...?" and thus the niggling doubt refuses to listen to Sense and Rationality.
I used the examples of a burglar and giant because these are two fears that plagued me as a child and caused many a sleepless night. Imagine, if you can, a child's bedroom, rectangular in shape: it is quite dark - the carpet is dark brown with flowery shapes in a lighter shade; the wallpaper, though a white background, is covered with pictures of various breeds of dinosaur repeated over and over, dull greens, purples, greys; the curtains are a heavy, black-out type, brown to match the carpet. The bedroom door is always open - not the child's choice - and yellow light floods in from the landing. Along the far wall is a clothes airer, kept in this bedroom because it is the most spacious. Of course, the combination of the landing light and drying clothes means shadows appear with ease - baggy jumpers and trousers morph into a stranger who has broken into the house and is waiting for the child to close her eyes before leaping from his hiding place and killing her before ransacking the house. The child becomes too scared to turn her back on the room, should this scene take place. She convinces herself that if she sleeps with her back to the wall so that she is facing the rest of the room, she will be safe.
Unfortunately it is not that simple, for the child is a fan of the film The BFG, based on the book by Roald Dahl. It's a vicious circle; she loves the movie and enjoys watching it, but the bad giants, in particular The Blood Bottler, terrify her. She is convinced that they are coming for her, and the fact that her bed is against the wall directly beneath the long window only makes it easier for them to reach in and snatch her from her bed.
Again, she tells herself that if she sleeps facin the window, then they will not get her (I'm not entirely sure I follow her logic. Perhaps, even at that young age, she was trying to literally face her fears? Or maybe that's just hindsight and logic speaking, as is often the case with anecdotes from the past). But then what of the burglar so cleverly camouflaged in the family's washing? Facing the window would ensure safety from being eaten but result in being stabbed or strangled, and vice versa if she faces the room.
Obviously such thinking is illogical and simply the result of an overactive imagination. It is cruelly ironic that what allows such pleasure from creating games to play in daylight can be the same thing that keeps you in Fear's icy grip, unable to sleep at night. Even now, while my dreams generally take a different path (ignoring the fact that yes, I did have a nightmare where the Blood Bottler was after me only earlier this year...), I still sometimes find myself uneasy when it comes to bedtime simply because I don't want to dream.
Perhaps it is natural to fear Imagination, to some extent. After all, it is one of the few things in the world that can go anywhere, good or bad. It was thanks to someone's imagination that the atomic bomb was created.
All I want to know is, how do you turn off your imagination?
Thursday 16 October 2008
mememememe-meme
I know I said I would start blogging properly again, but I figured posting a meme or two would break up the monotony of reading my ramblings ^^ This is an interesting one that's done the rounds recently; I don't usually do this sort of meme due to being unable to think of anything to put, but I shall try...
10 things you wish you could say to ten different people right now...
a) I'm still not sure if you were being serious when you said that, and can't help thinking you were...
b) You've changed. Sometimes I can't help but think you're not any better than the other rude, childish, thoughtless idiots on the internet. But I can't say anything because I don't want to lose you as a friend
c) It's not that I don't want to, but I just can't bring myself to say anything
d) I really wish you'd chosen me. I would have loved the responsibility
e) Does it really matter who did what, where and when? Really?
f) Would it hurt to just shut up sometimes?
g) I wish I could bring myself to hate you and stand by what I told myself (and everyone else) I would do. I still don't understand why I can't
h) You're a fucking hypocrite and I wish you realised how hurtful the things you said were
i) I miss you
j) Sometimes I wonder if you just include me because you think you should, but secretly think I'm annoying
9 things about yourself...
a) I'm studying Creative Writing and English at Uni
b) I have 4 cats
c) My dream growing up was to be a famous author
d) I bottle stuff up more than is good for me
e) My favourite chocolate is galaxy or milky bar
f) I have a teddy bear called Fred
g) If you look up 'fail' in the dictionary it has a picture of me
--okay this one isn't actually truse, but it should be!
h) I love over-the-knee stripy socks and own a ridiculous number of pairs
i) I have an irrational fear of the sea; I won't even paddle in the shallows because I'm scared of being attacked by sharks
8 ways to win your heart...
a) Buy me pizza!
b) Don't treat me like a human doormat
c) Make me laugh
d) Take an interest in what I say/so
e) Don't make me feel like I have an IQ of about 10
f) ...Buy me pizza!
g) Don't act clingy and possessive
h) Don't diss things I like and act like I'm scum for liking them
7 things that cross your mind a lot...
a) Am I being annoying?
b) "I can't do this"
c) "What day is it, again...?"
d) Stuff that's happened in the past that I have a tendency to dwell on
e) Wondering what I'm actually going to do with my life
f) blah
g) more blah. I don't think my mind works like normal people's. I have no idea what thoughts cross my mind, to be honest.
6 things you do before falling asleep...
a) Brush my teeth
b) Get annoyed that I can't sleep
c) Think about stuff that's happened during the day
d) Play out interesting scenarios in my mind
e) Plan out potential storylines
f) Listen to music
5 people who mean a lot...
a) Bug
b) Shiro
c) Janey
d) Saiyu
e) Hestir
plus a whole bunch of other people but I can only list 5 ;~;
4 things you're wearing right now...
a) black socks with little skull & crossbones on them
b) jeans
c) black cardigan
d) my watch - on the "wrong" (i.e. right) wrist
3 songs that you listen to often (currently)...
a) On the Rise - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
b) Mr Brightside - The Killers
c) Ash Like Snow - The Brilliant Green
2 things you want to do before you die...
a) Have one of my books published
b) Travel the world
1 confession...
a) I AM GUNDAM!
--okay again, not actually true. But I can't think of anything >_>
10 things you wish you could say to ten different people right now...
a) I'm still not sure if you were being serious when you said that, and can't help thinking you were...
b) You've changed. Sometimes I can't help but think you're not any better than the other rude, childish, thoughtless idiots on the internet. But I can't say anything because I don't want to lose you as a friend
c) It's not that I don't want to, but I just can't bring myself to say anything
d) I really wish you'd chosen me. I would have loved the responsibility
e) Does it really matter who did what, where and when? Really?
f) Would it hurt to just shut up sometimes?
g) I wish I could bring myself to hate you and stand by what I told myself (and everyone else) I would do. I still don't understand why I can't
h) You're a fucking hypocrite and I wish you realised how hurtful the things you said were
i) I miss you
j) Sometimes I wonder if you just include me because you think you should, but secretly think I'm annoying
9 things about yourself...
a) I'm studying Creative Writing and English at Uni
b) I have 4 cats
c) My dream growing up was to be a famous author
d) I bottle stuff up more than is good for me
e) My favourite chocolate is galaxy or milky bar
f) I have a teddy bear called Fred
g) If you look up 'fail' in the dictionary it has a picture of me
--okay this one isn't actually truse, but it should be!
h) I love over-the-knee stripy socks and own a ridiculous number of pairs
i) I have an irrational fear of the sea; I won't even paddle in the shallows because I'm scared of being attacked by sharks
8 ways to win your heart...
a) Buy me pizza!
b) Don't treat me like a human doormat
c) Make me laugh
d) Take an interest in what I say/so
e) Don't make me feel like I have an IQ of about 10
f) ...Buy me pizza!
g) Don't act clingy and possessive
h) Don't diss things I like and act like I'm scum for liking them
7 things that cross your mind a lot...
a) Am I being annoying?
b) "I can't do this"
c) "What day is it, again...?"
d) Stuff that's happened in the past that I have a tendency to dwell on
e) Wondering what I'm actually going to do with my life
f) blah
g) more blah. I don't think my mind works like normal people's. I have no idea what thoughts cross my mind, to be honest.
6 things you do before falling asleep...
a) Brush my teeth
b) Get annoyed that I can't sleep
c) Think about stuff that's happened during the day
d) Play out interesting scenarios in my mind
e) Plan out potential storylines
f) Listen to music
5 people who mean a lot...
a) Bug
b) Shiro
c) Janey
d) Saiyu
e) Hestir
plus a whole bunch of other people but I can only list 5 ;~;
4 things you're wearing right now...
a) black socks with little skull & crossbones on them
b) jeans
c) black cardigan
d) my watch - on the "wrong" (i.e. right) wrist
3 songs that you listen to often (currently)...
a) On the Rise - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
b) Mr Brightside - The Killers
c) Ash Like Snow - The Brilliant Green
2 things you want to do before you die...
a) Have one of my books published
b) Travel the world
1 confession...
a) I AM GUNDAM!
--okay again, not actually true. But I can't think of anything >_>
Wednesday 15 October 2008
I took a walk on the wild side of life / 'Cause I'm not like you
Ah, it's been such a long time since I've posted a blog. Meme's non-inclusive, I mean, 'cause that's kinda just the easy way out of blogging, interesting as it is. It's understandable that I didn't post anything over the summer - limited internet access coupled with Bad Things meant there was quite literally nothing to blog about.
Since coming back to uni though, I think it's more just a case of laziness. I've had several posts planned out, but haven't got round to actually writing and publishing them. My bad.
Anyway, I thought it was about time I got back into the swing of blogging, and not just randomness on my LJ. And a task we were set in class today seemed like a good way to do this~
We're looking at short stories in one of the Creative Writing modules and today our new tutor set us what I thought was a pretty fascinating task; to write a bad short short story (i.e. less then 80s words if possible). We've had to write short short stories before, but never have we been asked to write a bad story. Surprisingly enough it was trickier then you would expect; I've read a lot of badfic on the internet so thought it would be pretty easy to follow the 'rules' that these stories seem to follow: ridiculously pretty lead females, handsome lead males who of course fall in love with the blatant self-insert/Sue female lead, over the top and unnecessary descriptions...
Anyway, this is what I came up with:
Her eyes glittered like the sea in the silver moonlight. The young couple were enveloped in the darkness of the night, unaware of anything outside of each other. The man ran his fingers through her waist-length jet black hair, caressed the smooth, ivory skin of her cheek with his thumb. He wanted to be beautiful like her, young forever like her, and as he felt the sharp sting of elongated fangs sink into the soft flesh of his neck, he smiled.
Lol.
Since coming back to uni though, I think it's more just a case of laziness. I've had several posts planned out, but haven't got round to actually writing and publishing them. My bad.
Anyway, I thought it was about time I got back into the swing of blogging, and not just randomness on my LJ. And a task we were set in class today seemed like a good way to do this~
We're looking at short stories in one of the Creative Writing modules and today our new tutor set us what I thought was a pretty fascinating task; to write a bad short short story (i.e. less then 80s words if possible). We've had to write short short stories before, but never have we been asked to write a bad story. Surprisingly enough it was trickier then you would expect; I've read a lot of badfic on the internet so thought it would be pretty easy to follow the 'rules' that these stories seem to follow: ridiculously pretty lead females, handsome lead males who of course fall in love with the blatant self-insert/Sue female lead, over the top and unnecessary descriptions...
Anyway, this is what I came up with:
Her eyes glittered like the sea in the silver moonlight. The young couple were enveloped in the darkness of the night, unaware of anything outside of each other. The man ran his fingers through her waist-length jet black hair, caressed the smooth, ivory skin of her cheek with his thumb. He wanted to be beautiful like her, young forever like her, and as he felt the sharp sting of elongated fangs sink into the soft flesh of his neck, he smiled.
Lol.
Wednesday 24 September 2008
Rhymes that keep their secrets will unfold behind the clouds
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Guten Tag
WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
Just Died in Your Arms Tonight
WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU?
Boy For Sale
WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
The Logical Song
WHAT DOES YOUR EX THINK OF YOU?
She Will Be Loved
HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
Weird World
HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE?
Incomplete
WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
Perfect World
ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL?
Out of Reach
YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN...
Baby One More Time
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The Saga Begins
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hit the Floor
THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE ?
Nothing Else Matters
YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE?
Bugsy Malone
HAPPY TIME:
Bulletproof in Baggy Jeans
SAD TIMES:
Dawson’s Geek
EVERY DAY:
You’ll Be in my Heart
FOR TOMORROW:
Riot
FOR YOU:
Phantom of the Opera
WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME?
We Are the Champions
WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD?
Call Me
WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING?
Eminem Dreams (ahahahaha – this is a mash-up of Without Me by Eminem and Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics – awesome)
WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
Pain (o_O)
YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING?
Man I Feel Like a Woman
HOW WILL I DIE?
The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Guten Tag
WHAT'S YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE?
Just Died in Your Arms Tonight
WHAT DOES YOUR FAMILY THINK OF YOU?
Boy For Sale
WHAT DO STRANGERS THINK OF YOU?
The Logical Song
WHAT DOES YOUR EX THINK OF YOU?
She Will Be Loved
HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE?
Weird World
HOW WILL YOUR LOVE LIFE BE IN THE FUTURE?
Incomplete
WILL YOU HAVE KIDS?
Perfect World
ARE YOU GOOD AT SCHOOL?
Out of Reach
YOU WILL BE SUCCESSFUL IN...
Baby One More Time
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The Saga Begins
WHAT SONG SHOULD THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Hit the Floor
THE SOUNDTRACK OF YOUR LIFE ?
Nothing Else Matters
YOU AND YOUR BEST FRIEND ARE?
Bugsy Malone
HAPPY TIME:
Bulletproof in Baggy Jeans
SAD TIMES:
Dawson’s Geek
EVERY DAY:
You’ll Be in my Heart
FOR TOMORROW:
Riot
FOR YOU:
Phantom of the Opera
WHAT DOES NEXT YEAR HAVE IN STORE FOR ME?
We Are the Champions
WHAT DO I SAY WHEN LIFE GETS TOO HARD?
Call Me
WHAT SONG WILL I DANCE TO AT MY WEDDING?
Eminem Dreams (ahahahaha – this is a mash-up of Without Me by Eminem and Sweet Dreams by the Eurythmics – awesome)
WHAT DO YOU WANT AS A CAREER?
Pain (o_O)
YOUR FAVOURITE SAYING?
Man I Feel Like a Woman
HOW WILL I DIE?
The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything
Friday 5 September 2008
Thursday 7 August 2008
you really do fail dot org
So. I really like the piece of music 'Wizards in Winter' of youfail.org fame. Just recently I've been thinking to myself that the music seemed really familiar, like I'd heard it even before I was first linked to youfail.org by a so-called friend. It just occurred to me yesterday that I had indeed heard it before, and not only that, I thought I knew where. Turns out I was right; quite a while ago I was sent an email showing a video of someone's Christmas lights outside their house. It was really cool because the lights were timed to the music.
Isn't it spiffy~? I just find it ironic that the music is used for a website announcing the failure of everyone, and I failed to realise that I'd heard said music before until several months later. A++
Isn't it spiffy~? I just find it ironic that the music is used for a website announcing the failure of everyone, and I failed to realise that I'd heard said music before until several months later. A++
Tuesday 5 August 2008
Sigh
I have a massive entry planned detailing what I got up to on my holiday, but right now I just don't have the energy or the will to actually type it all up and post it.
I'm really sick of people right now. Brb, digging self a hole and hiding for the rest of the forseeable future.
Sigh.
I'm really sick of people right now. Brb, digging self a hole and hiding for the rest of the forseeable future.
Sigh.
Saturday 12 July 2008
All work and no play
Makes Laney even duller than she was before.
My contracted hours at the Co Op are Wednesdays 4pm-10pm, Fridays 6pm-10pm, and alternate Saturdays, i.e. one week I will do 10am-4pm, the following Saturday I will do 4pm-10pm and so on. However because I only live around the corner, I have said that I can do over time whenever I'm needed. As such I have been called in to work every day this week due to one of my colleagues being on holiday; I don't mind because for the most part I enjoy working there, plus it means I will get paid more :3
So this morning I got up and went round there for 10am, only to be told that actually I was meant to be working tonight. Cue confusion on my part, as I was sure I'd done the late shift last week, meaning this week it should be the day shift. Turns out I did, but because this guy has been on holiday, the supervisor was meant to have informed me that I need to work tonight so that we're not understaffed. Would've been useful if I'd been told before I turned up...
But no harm done. The downside is that now I'm going to miss my friend's birthday party thing, but I guess it can't be helped :(
My contracted hours at the Co Op are Wednesdays 4pm-10pm, Fridays 6pm-10pm, and alternate Saturdays, i.e. one week I will do 10am-4pm, the following Saturday I will do 4pm-10pm and so on. However because I only live around the corner, I have said that I can do over time whenever I'm needed. As such I have been called in to work every day this week due to one of my colleagues being on holiday; I don't mind because for the most part I enjoy working there, plus it means I will get paid more :3
So this morning I got up and went round there for 10am, only to be told that actually I was meant to be working tonight. Cue confusion on my part, as I was sure I'd done the late shift last week, meaning this week it should be the day shift. Turns out I did, but because this guy has been on holiday, the supervisor was meant to have informed me that I need to work tonight so that we're not understaffed. Would've been useful if I'd been told before I turned up...
But no harm done. The downside is that now I'm going to miss my friend's birthday party thing, but I guess it can't be helped :(
Tuesday 8 July 2008
lolcat Tuesday 02
Almost forgot it was lolcat Tuesday!! D:
It's true. Sometimes you come across people who are complete douches and shouldn't be allowed to be on the internet; these are the people who think it is okay and sometimes even funny to belittle people and just generally act and say things out of line. It makes me wonder if they act like that in real life. If yes; why weren't they brought up better?? Often they are people who are old enough to know better, but clearly they just don't seem to care. If that's not what they're like in real life, why do they think it's okay to act like it online? Just because you're not face to face with someone and you don't know who they are, doesn't mean it's okay to treat them like rubbish or act like you're better than everyone.
Luckily I've never had to deal with people like this, but I have seen the above-mentioned things happen.
Anyway, luckily enough people like that only take up one fraction of the internet. Luckily, the awesome and hilarious people more than make up for the idiots. For example, I started to read the comments in this thread (warning: semi naked anime guys, NSFW comments, and possible spoilers for the series), and it just made me realise how much I love the internet, and some fandoms sometimes. The way people have read too much into a poster of all things just made me laugh so much, partly because...well. They are still plausible suggestions for what is happening! Not canon-ly, of course, but then again, I doubt the characters would go to the beach for a day together canon-ly, 2nd ED non-inclusive. Other than that, the way these people have looked at the way the characters have been drawn and devised scenarios from it is just plain epic, and hilarious.
I realise this is kinda a sucky lolcat Tuesday entry as no one else that reads my blog regularly is really into Gundam 00, but nevermind. It still made me lol.
It's true. Sometimes you come across people who are complete douches and shouldn't be allowed to be on the internet; these are the people who think it is okay and sometimes even funny to belittle people and just generally act and say things out of line. It makes me wonder if they act like that in real life. If yes; why weren't they brought up better?? Often they are people who are old enough to know better, but clearly they just don't seem to care. If that's not what they're like in real life, why do they think it's okay to act like it online? Just because you're not face to face with someone and you don't know who they are, doesn't mean it's okay to treat them like rubbish or act like you're better than everyone.
Luckily I've never had to deal with people like this, but I have seen the above-mentioned things happen.
Anyway, luckily enough people like that only take up one fraction of the internet. Luckily, the awesome and hilarious people more than make up for the idiots. For example, I started to read the comments in this thread (warning: semi naked anime guys, NSFW comments, and possible spoilers for the series), and it just made me realise how much I love the internet, and some fandoms sometimes. The way people have read too much into a poster of all things just made me laugh so much, partly because...well. They are still plausible suggestions for what is happening! Not canon-ly, of course, but then again, I doubt the characters would go to the beach for a day together canon-ly, 2nd ED non-inclusive. Other than that, the way these people have looked at the way the characters have been drawn and devised scenarios from it is just plain epic, and hilarious.
I realise this is kinda a sucky lolcat Tuesday entry as no one else that reads my blog regularly is really into Gundam 00, but nevermind. It still made me lol.
Saturday 5 July 2008
Crossdressing may be the new black this season
I saw a very strange sight whilst at work earlier. I was on the till serving a customer, when in worked a guy who couldn't have been much older than me, wearing a blue swimming costume. o__o Let's just say it didn't really leave a whole lot to the imagination. Moments after that, his friend walked in, wearing a bra padded out with various bits and bobs, and a skirt. This second guy went to my friend's till to buy something, and she must have made some comment about his outfit, because he turned around and said, "it looks way better from the back, look!" -- and proceeded to lift up the skirt to reveal a thong underneath.
I think I am scarred for life.
I think I am scarred for life.
Tuesday 1 July 2008
lolcat Tuesday 01
Looking through my many files on my hard drive, I discovered that I have a lot of cat macros (if you are not familiar with this term, don't worry, you soon will be :3 ) so I have decided that Tuesdays will be renamed: lolcat Tuesday, i.e. every Tuesday I will upload one of the macros I have saved and for that day my blog entry will relate in some way to the image. It might be relevant to something that's happened to me in real life, it might just be me pondering something; we shall see!
Once term had finished and I came home for the summer, I decided it was time to search for a job. Luckily my mum had been into our local Co Op and discovered that they were hiring, so the day after I returned from uni I had to go in to get an application form. Two days later they called me to say I had an interview, and a few days after that I got another call saying I'd got the job and just had to wait for them to arrange a date for my training. \o/ This meant that I wouldn't have to fall back on my last resort: calling my cousin who is the manager of our nearest MacDonalds and askign him to get me an interview there. I was so desperate for a job this summer that if I didn't have any luck anywhere else, I was going to try and apply at good ol' Maccy D's, despite really not wanting to work there. Luckily I was saved from that, and the phrase "you want fries with that?" will continue to be uttered only in mockery of others. :D
Above-mentioned training was last Wednesday in a town that is a fair distance away, and lasted about 4 hours. It was probably the easiest training ever; it involved me sitting on my butt and watching a few videos, and then doing some quizzes to make sure I'd been paying attention to said videos. Mostly it was all just common sense stuff. After that I travelled back to my village to discuss what hours I would be given, and ended up also doing an hour's worth of till training. This was what I was most scared about. I'd been told various times that I would pick it up with no difficulty, particularly because "the younger ones find it easier that older people do". As I am a paranoid spaz though, I was convinced I wouldn't pick it up at all and would mess everything up. Thankfully this was not the case, and now after two shifts I can safely say I am confident with what I'm doing. Well, apart from when people ask for cigarettes. Speaking of, I found an an interesting article yesterday which says that more than 400,000 people have quit smoking because of the ban that was introduced a year ago today. Clearly not one of this 400,000 is any of the villagers from where I live, as about 90% of people who shop in our Co Op want a packet of cigarettes. Anyway, I never realised just how many different types there are, and it can get quite confusing trying to find the ones people are asking for. I've found that it's getting easier, the more I work there though.
Last night I was called in to do some over time. I didn't mind this at all, as it just means I'll get more money to save ready for 2nd year of uni (speaking of which, it's roughly fifteen minutes until I can check my results, ahhhh!). I didn't realise, however, that it would involve about three hours of pulling stock forward. I wasn't sure what this meant at first, but soon discovered that it was fairly self explanatory. I had to go up and down the aisles, bring the various items to the front of their respective shelves and just generally make it look tidy. For three hours. It was simply thrilling.
Once term had finished and I came home for the summer, I decided it was time to search for a job. Luckily my mum had been into our local Co Op and discovered that they were hiring, so the day after I returned from uni I had to go in to get an application form. Two days later they called me to say I had an interview, and a few days after that I got another call saying I'd got the job and just had to wait for them to arrange a date for my training. \o/ This meant that I wouldn't have to fall back on my last resort: calling my cousin who is the manager of our nearest MacDonalds and askign him to get me an interview there. I was so desperate for a job this summer that if I didn't have any luck anywhere else, I was going to try and apply at good ol' Maccy D's, despite really not wanting to work there. Luckily I was saved from that, and the phrase "you want fries with that?" will continue to be uttered only in mockery of others. :D
Above-mentioned training was last Wednesday in a town that is a fair distance away, and lasted about 4 hours. It was probably the easiest training ever; it involved me sitting on my butt and watching a few videos, and then doing some quizzes to make sure I'd been paying attention to said videos. Mostly it was all just common sense stuff. After that I travelled back to my village to discuss what hours I would be given, and ended up also doing an hour's worth of till training. This was what I was most scared about. I'd been told various times that I would pick it up with no difficulty, particularly because "the younger ones find it easier that older people do". As I am a paranoid spaz though, I was convinced I wouldn't pick it up at all and would mess everything up. Thankfully this was not the case, and now after two shifts I can safely say I am confident with what I'm doing. Well, apart from when people ask for cigarettes. Speaking of, I found an an interesting article yesterday which says that more than 400,000 people have quit smoking because of the ban that was introduced a year ago today. Clearly not one of this 400,000 is any of the villagers from where I live, as about 90% of people who shop in our Co Op want a packet of cigarettes. Anyway, I never realised just how many different types there are, and it can get quite confusing trying to find the ones people are asking for. I've found that it's getting easier, the more I work there though.
Last night I was called in to do some over time. I didn't mind this at all, as it just means I'll get more money to save ready for 2nd year of uni (speaking of which, it's roughly fifteen minutes until I can check my results, ahhhh!). I didn't realise, however, that it would involve about three hours of pulling stock forward. I wasn't sure what this meant at first, but soon discovered that it was fairly self explanatory. I had to go up and down the aisles, bring the various items to the front of their respective shelves and just generally make it look tidy. For three hours. It was simply thrilling.
Friday 27 June 2008
To read makes our speaking English good
Since being home my life must have become a shade more boring than it was before, as I haven't been able to think of a single thing to post a blog entry about. I've cleaned both my mum's house and my dad's to help out, applied for a couple of jobs, been interviewed for one, got said job, and done some training for it. Other than that I've spent my time reading, although as of yet I've not actually started reading anything from the reading lists for next term. In fact, I've yet to even buy the books. I will probably do so next week. Maybe.
And speaking of reading, let's have a fascinating meme, shall we?
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;)
1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (Well, I've read some of it...)
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks (WHY IS THIS BOOK NOT HIGHER ON THE LIST???)
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (...at least Birdsong was higher than this one ¬_¬)
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres (Haven't read it, but have met the author...lol)
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome (OMFG. I read this entire series when I was younger! Love it)
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
29/100, eyyy. Not bad, I suppose :D
And speaking of reading, let's have a fascinating meme, shall we?
The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed. Well let's see.
1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicise those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;)
1. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6. The Bible
7. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9. His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11. Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12. Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller (Well, I've read some of it...)
14. Complete Works of Shakespeare
15. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16. The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks (WHY IS THIS BOOK NOT HIGHER ON THE LIST???)
18. Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger (...at least Birdsong was higher than this one ¬_¬)
19. The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20. Middlemarch - George Eliot
21. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22. The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33. Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34. Emma - Jane Austen
35. Persuasion - Jane Austen
36. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37. The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38. Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres (Haven't read it, but have met the author...lol)
39. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40. Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41. Animal Farm - George Orwell
42. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46. Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48. The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50. Atonement - Ian McEwan
51. Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52. Dune - Frank Herbert
53. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68. Bridget Jones' Diary - Helen Fielding
69. Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie
70. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72. Dracula - Bram Stoker
73. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75. Ulysses - James Joyce
76. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome (OMFG. I read this entire series when I was younger! Love it)
78. Germinal - Emile Zola
79. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80. Possession - AS Byatt
81. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87. Charlotte's Web - EB White
88. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94. Watership Down - Richard Adams
95. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
29/100, eyyy. Not bad, I suppose :D
Saturday 14 June 2008
"Goodbye", words cannot convey it
Goodbye, dust that appeared despite how often I cleaned
Goodbye, bookshelf that I was in constant danger of head-butting
Goodbye, mahusive notice board
Goodbye, curtain that doesn’t keep out the light from the lamp post outside my window
Goodbye, semi-hidden plug sockets that I only discovered a month after living here
Goodbye, mouldy shower curtain
Goodbye, toilet that flushes weirdly
Goodbye, suspicious-puke-smelling-stain-that-appeared-in-the-kitchen-in-the-four-days-I-was-away
Yes, I will miss you, D-6-c.
I will not, however, miss my flatmates. Ex-flatmates, I suppose they are now. We've had our good moments, we've had our bad moments. But do you know what the icing on the metaphorical cake that I'd love to smush into Nena's face is? I got up this morning to have some breakfast and found that my milk was gone from the fridge. Not gone as in, chucked down the sink, the empty container chucked in the bin. Just gone. Needless to say I wasn't impressed. I have low blood sugar in the mornings and seeing as I'm going to be carrying heavy bags to the bus station, I kinda needed something to sustain me. But there's nothing I can do about it. SO. I opened the freezer to get my remaining 2 slices of bread out to make a sandwich for the journey and...it's not there. I dread to think why she felt the need to take my bread out of my freezer drawer, but she did! Thanks Nena. It's not like I need to eat anything today, despite having a 6 hour journey ahead of me.
Goodbye, bookshelf that I was in constant danger of head-butting
Goodbye, mahusive notice board
Goodbye, curtain that doesn’t keep out the light from the lamp post outside my window
Goodbye, semi-hidden plug sockets that I only discovered a month after living here
Goodbye, mouldy shower curtain
Goodbye, toilet that flushes weirdly
Goodbye, suspicious-puke-smelling-stain-that-appeared-in-the-kitchen-in-the-four-days-I-was-away
Yes, I will miss you, D-6-c.
I will not, however, miss my flatmates. Ex-flatmates, I suppose they are now. We've had our good moments, we've had our bad moments. But do you know what the icing on the metaphorical cake that I'd love to smush into Nena's face is? I got up this morning to have some breakfast and found that my milk was gone from the fridge. Not gone as in, chucked down the sink, the empty container chucked in the bin. Just gone. Needless to say I wasn't impressed. I have low blood sugar in the mornings and seeing as I'm going to be carrying heavy bags to the bus station, I kinda needed something to sustain me. But there's nothing I can do about it. SO. I opened the freezer to get my remaining 2 slices of bread out to make a sandwich for the journey and...it's not there. I dread to think why she felt the need to take my bread out of my freezer drawer, but she did! Thanks Nena. It's not like I need to eat anything today, despite having a 6 hour journey ahead of me.
Thursday 12 June 2008
Long post is long
Oops, haven't posted in a while...I've thought about it at various times, if that counts for anything...heh.
Tomorrow is my last full day in my university accomodation flat. I don't feel overly sad about that just yet seeing as I have already been home; last Thursday my mum came and picked me up, taking practically all my stuff home with me, so I could go home for the long weekend (and that's a pretty epic tale too, but more on that story later). I am currently living out of a suitcase, with just a tin of spaghetti, two slices of bread and a lone pear to tide me over during the day tomorrow. Oh and of course I made sure to keep my laptop here, else I probably would have been driven to despair by boredom.
I thought I would be fine, as long as I had internet connection, but even that is giving me beef. For some reason it keeps trying to disconnect me, and believe me it is not at all fun to have to reconnect every two seconds when all I'm trying to do is check my emails, reply to someone's comment or read manga. Oh yes, I was quite happily reading a chapter of Ouran High School Host Club when all of a sudden I was kicked offline. Even restarting my usually trusty laptop didn't help the matter, onemanga just refuse to load up. But never fear, Saiyu to the rescue! Her first plan of reading it on a different website didn't work, so onto Plan B. 50 screencaps sent over msn later and I finally got to read the chapter. Was it worth the hassle? HELLS YEAH. asdfghj there was epic lulz with the twins, Honey being ridiculously cute, Tamaki being a loveable spaz, and Mori being his usual dotty self. Er. That is, he didn't say anything, just dotted a lot, not that he went dotty randomly. :3
So yes, despite my internet playing up, I have survived my last week here. To be honest the only reason I returned after my weekend at home was on the off chance that I would receive an email informing me that my two assignments were finally ready to collect, but as no such email has been forthcoming and tomorrow is the last day of term anyway, I don't think it will be happening. Which is a bit annoying as it means I came back up here for no reason, but what can ya do. It did at least allow for another epic pizza adventure with Saiyu, although we ventured from our usual Pizza Hut route to try the wonderous and unknown Zizzi's. It was really very exciting.
And now for my epic weekend in a nutshell, because it's getting late and I want to sleep, plus this post is already pretty long so I probably shouldn't write too much more.
Like I said, mutti picked me up Thursday night. 10pm Thursday night, to be precise. Why was she so late? Because she had an appointment in London earlier that day which majorly over-ran, meaning she was late up to collect me too. By the time we'd packed up the car with all my stuff, it was nearly 11pm. The trip back home takes a minimum of 3 1/2 hours, so I figured I would just sleep on the journey. BUT NO. Mum was all "I'm tired too, so you have to keep me awake :3" Greeaat. So not only did I not get home til 2:30am, but I also talked pretty much non-stop for over three hours. A++. And by the time we'd unpacked everything from the car, it was gone 3am, joy!
I'd planned to get up at about 10am Friday morning so I didn't sleep the day away. 10am arrives, alarm clock goes off, Laney thinks "f*** that, I'm still tired @___@" and continues to doze. About half an hour later I was just thinking that I really ought to get up, when I happened to look across my room and see a mysterious small box on my bedside unit. Curious as to what it could be, I got up to investigate, and did the Dance of Joy when I realised it was my Gundam 00 figures that I'd ordered way back when I ordered Saiyu's birthday present back in like, April \o/ Mum had said she wouldn't post them up to me as postage would be too expensive, meaning I completely forgot about them. UNTIL FRIDAY MORNING. I then spent the next 15 minutes assembling them, which was trickier then I thought it would be, BUT SO WORTH IT. They're so cute sdfghjkl
My excitement from this discovery left me wide awake, so I finally decided it was time to get up. I then spent the day unpacking all my stuff and putting it in its correct places, and just generally making my room 'mine' again. Since going to uni it had become more of a hotel room for me so I thought moving back into it would be problematic, but thankfully I found homes for all of my stuff. I do enjoy rearranging my room ^^ I also decided to clean the house (I also enjoy cleaning, although I'm not entirely sure why) so I hoovered, cleaned the kitchen and cleaned the bathroom. Mother dearest didn't even notice >: Granted she had gone out Friday night for a leaving do with her work mates and returned a tad merry.
Saturday was a bit non-eventful, compared to its surrounding days. Me and mum got up, went to the shop to get our packed lunch items for Sunday, then went round to my aunts. I ended up playing a strange That's So Raven trivia game with my 8 year old cousin, and was most impressed when I got answers correct seeing as I've never watched that show :3 ...I forget what else we did that day, other than watch Die Hard 4.0 (love that film) and Doctor Who, much to my disgust.
Sunday was the busiest day; it was our trip to the Somme. You can read what I got up to as well as see the pictures I took here (it's too long to include in this entry). Despite an early start and busy day, I had a brilliant time. I hope the guy that arranged it all does similar trips in the future, but to some of the other battlefields.
Then on Monday I travelled back up North (sorry, back to the Midlands) by coach. As Saiyu mentioned in her latest blog entry, there was a bit of a problem with the coach in that it didn't quite make it to its destination. No, it decided to break down half an hour outside the city. When the bus driver informed us that we would have to wait half an hour for an engineer to come and fix it, I thought to myself, no worries; I can listen to my music. Two minutes later my mp3 player dies. >: N-no worries, I can text people and demand sympathy for my plight! A couple of text messages later and my phone beeps at me - the battery was also dead. AGH. Somehow I survived and eventually got to where I was meant to be, only an hour later then the original arrival time!
So yes, epic weekend was epic. So much for it only being a short explanation of what I did though...heh.
Tomorrow is my last full day in my university accomodation flat. I don't feel overly sad about that just yet seeing as I have already been home; last Thursday my mum came and picked me up, taking practically all my stuff home with me, so I could go home for the long weekend (and that's a pretty epic tale too, but more on that story later). I am currently living out of a suitcase, with just a tin of spaghetti, two slices of bread and a lone pear to tide me over during the day tomorrow. Oh and of course I made sure to keep my laptop here, else I probably would have been driven to despair by boredom.
I thought I would be fine, as long as I had internet connection, but even that is giving me beef. For some reason it keeps trying to disconnect me, and believe me it is not at all fun to have to reconnect every two seconds when all I'm trying to do is check my emails, reply to someone's comment or read manga. Oh yes, I was quite happily reading a chapter of Ouran High School Host Club when all of a sudden I was kicked offline. Even restarting my usually trusty laptop didn't help the matter, onemanga just refuse to load up. But never fear, Saiyu to the rescue! Her first plan of reading it on a different website didn't work, so onto Plan B. 50 screencaps sent over msn later and I finally got to read the chapter. Was it worth the hassle? HELLS YEAH. asdfghj there was epic lulz with the twins, Honey being ridiculously cute, Tamaki being a loveable spaz, and Mori being his usual dotty self. Er. That is, he didn't say anything, just dotted a lot, not that he went dotty randomly. :3
So yes, despite my internet playing up, I have survived my last week here. To be honest the only reason I returned after my weekend at home was on the off chance that I would receive an email informing me that my two assignments were finally ready to collect, but as no such email has been forthcoming and tomorrow is the last day of term anyway, I don't think it will be happening. Which is a bit annoying as it means I came back up here for no reason, but what can ya do. It did at least allow for another epic pizza adventure with Saiyu, although we ventured from our usual Pizza Hut route to try the wonderous and unknown Zizzi's. It was really very exciting.
And now for my epic weekend in a nutshell, because it's getting late and I want to sleep, plus this post is already pretty long so I probably shouldn't write too much more.
Like I said, mutti picked me up Thursday night. 10pm Thursday night, to be precise. Why was she so late? Because she had an appointment in London earlier that day which majorly over-ran, meaning she was late up to collect me too. By the time we'd packed up the car with all my stuff, it was nearly 11pm. The trip back home takes a minimum of 3 1/2 hours, so I figured I would just sleep on the journey. BUT NO. Mum was all "I'm tired too, so you have to keep me awake :3" Greeaat. So not only did I not get home til 2:30am, but I also talked pretty much non-stop for over three hours. A++. And by the time we'd unpacked everything from the car, it was gone 3am, joy!
I'd planned to get up at about 10am Friday morning so I didn't sleep the day away. 10am arrives, alarm clock goes off, Laney thinks "f*** that, I'm still tired @___@" and continues to doze. About half an hour later I was just thinking that I really ought to get up, when I happened to look across my room and see a mysterious small box on my bedside unit. Curious as to what it could be, I got up to investigate, and did the Dance of Joy when I realised it was my Gundam 00 figures that I'd ordered way back when I ordered Saiyu's birthday present back in like, April \o/ Mum had said she wouldn't post them up to me as postage would be too expensive, meaning I completely forgot about them. UNTIL FRIDAY MORNING. I then spent the next 15 minutes assembling them, which was trickier then I thought it would be, BUT SO WORTH IT. They're so cute sdfghjkl
My excitement from this discovery left me wide awake, so I finally decided it was time to get up. I then spent the day unpacking all my stuff and putting it in its correct places, and just generally making my room 'mine' again. Since going to uni it had become more of a hotel room for me so I thought moving back into it would be problematic, but thankfully I found homes for all of my stuff. I do enjoy rearranging my room ^^ I also decided to clean the house (I also enjoy cleaning, although I'm not entirely sure why) so I hoovered, cleaned the kitchen and cleaned the bathroom. Mother dearest didn't even notice >: Granted she had gone out Friday night for a leaving do with her work mates and returned a tad merry.
Saturday was a bit non-eventful, compared to its surrounding days. Me and mum got up, went to the shop to get our packed lunch items for Sunday, then went round to my aunts. I ended up playing a strange That's So Raven trivia game with my 8 year old cousin, and was most impressed when I got answers correct seeing as I've never watched that show :3 ...I forget what else we did that day, other than watch Die Hard 4.0 (love that film) and Doctor Who, much to my disgust.
Sunday was the busiest day; it was our trip to the Somme. You can read what I got up to as well as see the pictures I took here (it's too long to include in this entry). Despite an early start and busy day, I had a brilliant time. I hope the guy that arranged it all does similar trips in the future, but to some of the other battlefields.
Then on Monday I travelled back up North (sorry, back to the Midlands) by coach. As Saiyu mentioned in her latest blog entry, there was a bit of a problem with the coach in that it didn't quite make it to its destination. No, it decided to break down half an hour outside the city. When the bus driver informed us that we would have to wait half an hour for an engineer to come and fix it, I thought to myself, no worries; I can listen to my music. Two minutes later my mp3 player dies. >: N-no worries, I can text people and demand sympathy for my plight! A couple of text messages later and my phone beeps at me - the battery was also dead. AGH. Somehow I survived and eventually got to where I was meant to be, only an hour later then the original arrival time!
So yes, epic weekend was epic. So much for it only being a short explanation of what I did though...heh.
Monday 2 June 2008
A reversed case of dude looks like a lady?
 | ||||||||||||||||
Should you be MALE or FEMALE?* created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||
| You scored as Either You brain is neither specifically male, nor female in the way you perceive your surroundings. As bad as this may sound to some, it can easily mean that you are capable of combining both gender aspects to your advantage. Rather than being genderless you are possibly able think freely. This does not mean that you are bisexual or androgynous or indecisive, but it might.
|
I am currently a walking perfume advert. Why, you might ask? Well. I convinced Saiyu to coming shopping with me today (I don't like going into town on my own as it gets so busy and it makes me uncomfortable). I only needed to get a couple of bits ready for a party tomorrow night, but we added going to good ol' Maccy D's for lunch to our plans, just because we both decided we fancied burgers (on a side note, she found it amusing that my burger was a 'special request', ie had no mayo on it. I can't imagine why~). Little did I know that this seemingly simple shopping trip would turn into an attempt to make me more feminine.
Upon seeing a perfume shop on our journey, Saiyu got quite excited and requested that we check it out. Not really caring either way, I agreed, and we proceeded to look at bottles of perfume for several minutes. Or rather, Saiyu inspected them to see what she might like and I looked at and was amused by the funny shaped bottles. A conversation following this resulted in me revealing that I rarely wear perfume, a fact which Saiyu found shocking.
So once we'd finished my shopping we browsed the perfume section of Debenhams, spraying the test perfumes to try and find one I liked. Hands, wrists, all up both our arms, jackets and small pieces of paper were sprayed (we found a lot of perfumes...) When my opinion on the majority was "*shrug* eh, it's alright..." however, Saiyu started to question my gender. Of course, physically I am female, but apparently mentally I am male? I hate clothes shopping as it bores me so much, I got bored looking at make up, and the only opinion people get out of me regarding clothes they want to buy is "it's alright".
Saiyu even went so far as to comment that I was like her dad in that respect (to which I was somewhat miffed, seeing as we have previously had a conversation about her being like my mum. Messed up family is messed up?)
Reminds me of Tamaki and Kyouya, of Ouran fame...although I'm sure even Tamaki has more opinions on what's a good perfume/what clothes look nice etc.
Saturday 31 May 2008
Of Squeaky Shoes and Perfume Baths
This entry is by now several days late, considering what its subject is going to be. You can blame that on my own laziness and the fact that I've been distracted by the super special awesome shiny win that is Ouran High School Host Club - an anime series that I didn't think I would like quite as much as I apparently do. Having watched approximately twenty episodes in two or three days, all that is left to do now is read the manga; I've just been informed that a new chapter has been released, meaning I must read in the region of 61 chapters PDQ(*). A challenge if ever there was one!
Anyway, back to the point of this entry. I have now pretty much completed my first year of university. I say 'pretty much' as I still need to collect two assignments once they have been marked. It's not the fault of the tutors who are meant to be marking them that it's taking so long, but I can't help but wonder if they will be done by the time I go home.
My second and final exam was on Wednesday (gotta love the fact that we only have the two exams). As readers will probably remember, my entry following my first exam was a bit all over the place; I didn't quite know what to do with myself. Luckily this wasn't the case this time, as once the exam had finished I exited the building to find my group of friends who had finished earlier were waiting for us slowpokes. We then stood around and talked for a while before heading off in our mostly seperate direction, i.e. a couple of people went home, the rest of us went to Pizza Hut to celebrate! Yum ^_^
The exam itself didn't go quite as well as last week's Poetry one, I don't think. I certainly found it more difficult to start and my flow of writing wasn't as good, but I still had plenty (enough?) to say. Luckily Saiyu and I had had another revision evening the night before (which as you can see from her journal, consisted mostly of us comparing The War of the Worlds to various animes. While this may seem pointless to others, it was actually quite useful in helping us keep the facts in our heads. To each their own~) and we'd happened to discuss some of the themes we were meant to be writing about in the exam. The only one I had particular difficulties with, everyone else had been miffed by too, I was pleased to find out afterwards.
Also unlike last week, I was writing for mostly the whole two hours. The rule of exams is apparently that no one can leave in the first hour of it starting, and no one can leave in the last 15 minutes. Last week I was particularly unimpressed as I finished with 17 minutes to spare, however by the time the invidulator had checked that I'd filled in everything correctly and I'd glued down the anonymity flap, the main invidulator was informing us that we were down to the last 15 minutes and no one could leave until the very end. Brilliant. I decided to get my head down on the desk for some z's, which resulted in a lady coming up and asking me if I was okay, worried that I'd passed out or something.
This week's, I finished writing with about 3 minutes to spare, so I took my time checking I'd filled in everything I was supposed to. This still meant I had a minute and a half to waste, which in real life may not seem a big deal. In exam-time however, it feels more like hours. And have you noticed that when it gets to the finishing time, in this case 11am, the invidulators take forever in announcing the end of the exam? I could see that all the clocks read 11am and I'm sure everyone else could too, but the invidulator insisted on watched the clock for a while. Like he'd actually checked the position of the second hand when he'd started the exam. GAH.
And another thing: there's always an invidulator with squeaky shoes. In this case, one man had had the genius idea of wearing trainers in a gym hall. A++ And the females always, without fail, decide to bathe themselves in perfume the morning before the exam. Why!? Seriously, if all you're doing is wandering up and down an exam hall making sure people aren't cheating and answering any questions, it is not necessary to wear that much perfume.
Anyway that should probably conclude this entry. I have been monopolising Saiyu's laptop for I'm not sure how long now (long entry is long!) plus I'm getting pins and needles in my foot ¬_¬
(*)Pretty Damn Quickly
Anyway, back to the point of this entry. I have now pretty much completed my first year of university. I say 'pretty much' as I still need to collect two assignments once they have been marked. It's not the fault of the tutors who are meant to be marking them that it's taking so long, but I can't help but wonder if they will be done by the time I go home.
My second and final exam was on Wednesday (gotta love the fact that we only have the two exams). As readers will probably remember, my entry following my first exam was a bit all over the place; I didn't quite know what to do with myself. Luckily this wasn't the case this time, as once the exam had finished I exited the building to find my group of friends who had finished earlier were waiting for us slowpokes. We then stood around and talked for a while before heading off in our mostly seperate direction, i.e. a couple of people went home, the rest of us went to Pizza Hut to celebrate! Yum ^_^
The exam itself didn't go quite as well as last week's Poetry one, I don't think. I certainly found it more difficult to start and my flow of writing wasn't as good, but I still had plenty (enough?) to say. Luckily Saiyu and I had had another revision evening the night before (which as you can see from her journal, consisted mostly of us comparing The War of the Worlds to various animes. While this may seem pointless to others, it was actually quite useful in helping us keep the facts in our heads. To each their own~) and we'd happened to discuss some of the themes we were meant to be writing about in the exam. The only one I had particular difficulties with, everyone else had been miffed by too, I was pleased to find out afterwards.
Also unlike last week, I was writing for mostly the whole two hours. The rule of exams is apparently that no one can leave in the first hour of it starting, and no one can leave in the last 15 minutes. Last week I was particularly unimpressed as I finished with 17 minutes to spare, however by the time the invidulator had checked that I'd filled in everything correctly and I'd glued down the anonymity flap, the main invidulator was informing us that we were down to the last 15 minutes and no one could leave until the very end. Brilliant. I decided to get my head down on the desk for some z's, which resulted in a lady coming up and asking me if I was okay, worried that I'd passed out or something.
This week's, I finished writing with about 3 minutes to spare, so I took my time checking I'd filled in everything I was supposed to. This still meant I had a minute and a half to waste, which in real life may not seem a big deal. In exam-time however, it feels more like hours. And have you noticed that when it gets to the finishing time, in this case 11am, the invidulators take forever in announcing the end of the exam? I could see that all the clocks read 11am and I'm sure everyone else could too, but the invidulator insisted on watched the clock for a while. Like he'd actually checked the position of the second hand when he'd started the exam. GAH.
And another thing: there's always an invidulator with squeaky shoes. In this case, one man had had the genius idea of wearing trainers in a gym hall. A++ And the females always, without fail, decide to bathe themselves in perfume the morning before the exam. Why!? Seriously, if all you're doing is wandering up and down an exam hall making sure people aren't cheating and answering any questions, it is not necessary to wear that much perfume.
Anyway that should probably conclude this entry. I have been monopolising Saiyu's laptop for I'm not sure how long now (long entry is long!) plus I'm getting pins and needles in my foot ¬_¬
(*)Pretty Damn Quickly
Saturday 24 May 2008
Feed the birds / Tuppence a bag~
I've come to the conclusion that in many, many, many years to come, it won't be humans or robots that rule the world, but pigeons. That's right, pigeons. Why is that? Well think about it; they already crap all over our houses, our cars, us and what do we do about it? Whine and complain. We don't do anything to stop them from doing this, and indeed there's very little we can do. Those pigeons are crafty buggers.
Not only that, but we give them right of way in the street. Well...I do anyway, as I actually have a fear of things fluttering around my face and pigeons are very good at bird-flailing right up in your personal space. But yes, we see pigeons on the ground in front of us and we move to the side and go around them, 'cause they sure as hell won't move until the last possible moment if we continue walking towards them. And if we spot them suddenly flying at us, we stop walking! Again, because they are arrogant little shites and only swerve upwards mere milliseconds before flying into your face.
If you're still not convinced about just how much of a hold pigeons have over humans, how about this: the other day I was walking a couple of friends to the train station when a car driving down the street stopped and started tooting its horn. Confused, I looked up to see what the fuss was, and what do I see? The man leaning out of his window, tooting his horn at...yes, you guessed it. A pigeon. He clearly didn't want to run it over, but being the cocky pain that it was, said pigeon refused to get out of the way. I had a chuckle at this and continued on my way. Not even a minute later the same car starts tooting again; the guy had managed to drive a few more yards up the road before being delayed by another suicidal pigeon who had decided that the road was far more interesting than the pavement.
Really, why not just run the damn thing over?? (I know, I know, that's not a very nice thing to say, but really, they are just flying vermin!!) I have been informed that they apparently pop when you do so, which is pretty amusing, you gotta admit.
I think this is a very valid argument, proving the point that pigeons will one day TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!1!one! Although I might just be biased, as my next door neighbours back home own homing pigeons (why!?!?!?) who enjoy making my life hell by sitting on my window still and staring at me with their creepy little soulless eyes. Little sadists. I fecking hate pigeons.
Thursday 22 May 2008
Too lazy to think of a decent title :|
I don't know if it's just because I'm still insanely tired, or if my hormones are a bit out of whack at the moment or something, but my emotions are all over the place today >:
The nervousness this morning was understandable - I was walking into an unknown building to take my first exam as a university student and didn't know what to expect at all. I'm not a big fan of change, so obviously I was a bit uneasy as the way it was out set out was very different to the types of exams I've taken in the past, which admittedly we were pretty much spoon-fed the information for.
Next came the euphoria of feeling like said exam actually went well for once. Of course, the nasty, paranoid voice in my mind was still making snarky comments along the lines of "that probably means you've failed, it usually does..." but for now I'm ignoring him/her/it. For the most part, I've been in a good mood all day because I had plenty to say for the exam and more or less knew what I was talking about.
Wasn't quite sure what to do with myself, so I decided to lay in bed and watch some DVDs. Watched The Emperor's New Groove just because I haven't seen it in a while. I'd planned to watch some others when I remembered that my dad had sent me a few Bones episodes on DVD that he'd taped for me (it's pretty much the only tv show I watch), so I watched them instead. They made me laugh (maggots in a blender and someone getting squashed by some american school bleachers...what's not funny about that!?) and strangely enough, tear up a bit when one had a happy, sappy ending! This never happens, so I figured LOL HORMONES. >:
Theeeen after that I came online as my mum said she would be online at some point and I didn't want to miss her. I ended up finding something that made me feel irrationally, insanely jealous which also makes me feel a bit silly. Then there was more happiness when I found out that my mum got us both places on the Somme trip someone at her work is organising, so I'm looking forward to going on that. Then she gave me some news regarding a club we're part of in the summer that pissed me off. Thing is, it's one of those cases where I'm annoyed at a possible scenario. It hasn't actually happened, and it won't necessarily happen, and yet just the idea of it irritates the hell out of me. Why is that??
Anyway. To end the emotional rollercoaster that is today, I'm now feeling really lethargic. Can't be bothered to eat, can't be bothered to watch this anime episode, can't be bothered to watch another dvd, can't be bothered to rp, can't be bothered to revise...it's going to be a slow night...
The nervousness this morning was understandable - I was walking into an unknown building to take my first exam as a university student and didn't know what to expect at all. I'm not a big fan of change, so obviously I was a bit uneasy as the way it was out set out was very different to the types of exams I've taken in the past, which admittedly we were pretty much spoon-fed the information for.
Next came the euphoria of feeling like said exam actually went well for once. Of course, the nasty, paranoid voice in my mind was still making snarky comments along the lines of "that probably means you've failed, it usually does..." but for now I'm ignoring him/her/it. For the most part, I've been in a good mood all day because I had plenty to say for the exam and more or less knew what I was talking about.
Wasn't quite sure what to do with myself, so I decided to lay in bed and watch some DVDs. Watched The Emperor's New Groove just because I haven't seen it in a while. I'd planned to watch some others when I remembered that my dad had sent me a few Bones episodes on DVD that he'd taped for me (it's pretty much the only tv show I watch), so I watched them instead. They made me laugh (maggots in a blender and someone getting squashed by some american school bleachers...what's not funny about that!?) and strangely enough, tear up a bit when one had a happy, sappy ending! This never happens, so I figured LOL HORMONES. >:
Theeeen after that I came online as my mum said she would be online at some point and I didn't want to miss her. I ended up finding something that made me feel irrationally, insanely jealous which also makes me feel a bit silly. Then there was more happiness when I found out that my mum got us both places on the Somme trip someone at her work is organising, so I'm looking forward to going on that. Then she gave me some news regarding a club we're part of in the summer that pissed me off. Thing is, it's one of those cases where I'm annoyed at a possible scenario. It hasn't actually happened, and it won't necessarily happen, and yet just the idea of it irritates the hell out of me. Why is that??
Anyway. To end the emotional rollercoaster that is today, I'm now feeling really lethargic. Can't be bothered to eat, can't be bothered to watch this anime episode, can't be bothered to watch another dvd, can't be bothered to rp, can't be bothered to revise...it's going to be a slow night...
Monday 19 May 2008
So after all is said and done / I know I'm not the only one
I wouldn't describe myself as a particularly superstitious person. I don't care about walking under ladders, I don't see what the big fuss is regarding black cats, and I'm of the opinion that the only thing you should be worried about if you break a mirror is that you don't cut yourself on the glass.
That being said, I have just received a parcel from my mum, containing among other things a purple beaded bracelet. You know the sort, they were really popular in the nineties and the different coloured ones meant different things. I had several, but my favourite one was my amethyst one (because that's my birth stone), and because it means 'intelligence', I decided I would wear it for good luck when I did the 11+ exam in my last year of primary school. And I passed. Since then I've worn it in every exam I've taken. The only times I've forgotten to wear it? I failed the exams I was sitting.
Needless to say I've become quite superstitious regarding this cheap piece of jewellery, and upon realising I hadn't thought to bring it to uni with me, there was a frantic email to my mum requesting that she send it up to me asap. Part of me feels kind of silly about the whole thing; deep down I think I know that whether I'm wearing a particular bracelet or not won't really affect my performance in an exam, but I'll wear it anyway to be on the safe side.
And as for the relevance of the song I included...way back in, I think it was year 10, my friend and I discovered the cheesiest thing that ever cheesed, aka "Not Too Young, Not Too Old" by Aaron Carter. If you listen to the lyrics, it really is a pretty naff song, but it's also incredibly catchy. My friend and I found ourselves actually coming to like it and for some reason, although I don't remember why now, we started singing it one time when we were waiting to go in for our mock English exam. After that it became something of a tradition; we would always make sure we sang it because it was funny and kept us relaxed. Again, the one time we forgot to sing it, for our mock English A Level, neither of us did particularly well. Coincidence? I don't know...
I don't understand why people get so upset by things like breaking a mirror, but I'll tolerate their superstitions because I can relate to them, silly as it may be.
Sunday 18 May 2008
I'm afraid of 24/72 common fears...
[x] the dark
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[x] birds [mostly just pidgeons...]
[ ] fish
[x] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
Total so far: 4
[x] being touched
[x] fire
[ ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[x] the ocean
[x] failure
[ ] success
[x] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
Total so far: 10
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[x] falling
[x] clowns
[ ] dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes
Total so far: 15
[x] hurricanes [don't know the difference between tornados and hurricanes, so I'll tick both to be on the safe side!!]
[x] incurable diseases
[x] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[x] becoming blind [guess it depends on how I go blind...]
[ ] becoming deaf
[x] growing up
Total so far: 20
[x] creepy noises in the night
[x] bee stings
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[x] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets
Final Total: 24
If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars.
LOL PARANOIA.
[ ] staying single forever
[ ] being a parent
[ ] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[x] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[x] birds [mostly just pidgeons...]
[ ] fish
[x] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
Total so far: 4
[x] being touched
[x] fire
[ ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[x] the ocean
[x] failure
[ ] success
[x] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
Total so far: 10
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[x] falling
[x] clowns
[ ] dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes
Total so far: 15
[x] hurricanes [don't know the difference between tornados and hurricanes, so I'll tick both to be on the safe side!!]
[x] incurable diseases
[x] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[x] becoming blind [guess it depends on how I go blind...]
[ ] becoming deaf
[x] growing up
Total so far: 20
[x] creepy noises in the night
[x] bee stings
[ ] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[x] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[x] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets
Final Total: 24
If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
If you get 10 or less, you’re fearless.
People who don’t have any are liars.
LOL PARANOIA.
Monday 12 May 2008
95% sure we're going on an adventure~
So. Armed with a spoon and a bottle of water, I set out on what was to be a highly exciting adventure to find the gym, where our exams are being held! In theory, anyway.
First stop - uni building to get my Novel assignment back! Just like last time, the "tutorial" lasted all of 2 minutes; the tutor (who wasn't even the one who marked my essay) read out the feedback and asked if I had any questions. And as I didn't, there wasn't anything to discuss so I was sent on my way. Next stop: the entrance, to meet Saiyu so we could move onto the next stage of our adventure, i.e. to the food court for nummy lunch.
I had to get some money out first, but the first ATM was broked and there was a huuuuge queue for the other one :/ So we ended up standing around in the sun for like, 10 minutes. BORING. I hate the sun DX And I only wanted £10 but the machine was like "lol no, I don't have any £10 notes. Enter the amount you want in the box below" ONLY THE KEYPAD WAS BROKEN. So although I typed "£20", the amount that showed up in the box? £2220. I was like WAIT WHAT NOOOOOOO *cancelcancelcancelcancel* *deep breaths*
So yeah. I eventually got my money, then it was onto the foodcourt~ Mmm, pizza baguette. I haven't one in aaages, I'd forgotten how yummy they are ^^ Then after that, to the shop for Ben & Jerry's! We'd already decided that ice cream was a must, as Saiyu put in her journal:
It'll probably be an adventure. We'll probably get lost. There'll definitely be ice cream involved.
I realised this morning that there was a slight flaw in this plan. Where exactly did ice cream fit into our adventure? Then Saiyu had the genius idea of going to the museum and eating it in the gardens there. The best thing about this museum? FREE ADMISSION! \o/ Srsly, I didn't even know such a thing existed. So yes, went and sat in the garden of the museum (it was a very nice garden) and ate a whoooole tub of Phish Food ice cream :3 I'm such a piggie lolol.
After that we explored the actual museum. Usually I'm not that interested in museums - only certain points in history interest me so general museums (or the dumb Roman museum in CB) are boooring. However Saiyu pointed out that this one had a reconstructed WW1 trench :3 :3 :3 Basically the museum focuses on the city, and in particular the army regiment, so there were loads of different sections. It was well exciting! They also had a reconstructed 1930s (or was it 1940s?) highstreet with an actual cobble pavement. It was epic . Oh and the WW1 trench? Was AWESOME. Obviously it's not the first one I've been in, but it was one of the best. I went into the dugout, and was nosing around, checking out the bunks and stuff, and near gave myself a heart attack - there was a mirror half behind a curtain (to give the effect that the dugout is even deeper, apparently), and when I moved to the side I saw my own reflection and jumped about a mile in the air, thinking someone else was there! This is why I don't like small, cramped areas; they make me jumpy! D:
Oh, and another thing that made me jump - I was looking at the various display cases, looking at the medals and gas masks and other such interesting artifacts, when suddenly LOL STUFFED DOG. DDX It made me jump so bad, it was staring at me, and I thought it was real for a minute D: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO STICK A STUFFED DOG IN A DISPLAY UNIT??? Just because soldiers 'adopted' dogs as rat catchers doesn't mean you need to show an example! I'm sure we're all perfectly capable of imagining a dog. >:
There was also a tiger skin cloak thing :/ Poor tiger. OH AND, this was in the Boer War section (I think) - Saiyu was lol-ing at me going "ewww!" over this tiger head that was in the display cabinet, and then I read the note next to it: blahblahblah hunting was a favourite pastime blahblahblah this tiger head has been made into a snuff box. And indeed, it was on wheels, and had a lid in its head!! GROOOOOOOOSS. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.
So uh yeah. Museum was funky! Now to the actual point of this adventure...finding the gym. There was much panic the other day when Saiyu asked me where it was, as I'd assumed she knew and was going to tell me. Lol no. I remembered one of other friends mentioning that it was near-ish her accomodation, so I told Saiyu to get me there, and then we would wander around until we found it. Rather disappointingly, we found it in about 3 minutes. What an anticlimatic end to our adventure! Oh well, at least we know where we're going now ^^
And then after that we went to Iceland 'cause I needed some stuff. I now have ketchup, which means I can have pasta again! \o/
And to end this ridiculously long post, a couple of Vampire Knight AMVs that Saiyu made! They were a joint effort, in that I suggested some songs/spammed her with music and audio clips and told her to include them XD They make me lol, anyway.
First stop - uni building to get my Novel assignment back! Just like last time, the "tutorial" lasted all of 2 minutes; the tutor (who wasn't even the one who marked my essay) read out the feedback and asked if I had any questions. And as I didn't, there wasn't anything to discuss so I was sent on my way. Next stop: the entrance, to meet Saiyu so we could move onto the next stage of our adventure, i.e. to the food court for nummy lunch.
I had to get some money out first, but the first ATM was broked and there was a huuuuge queue for the other one :/ So we ended up standing around in the sun for like, 10 minutes. BORING. I hate the sun DX And I only wanted £10 but the machine was like "lol no, I don't have any £10 notes. Enter the amount you want in the box below" ONLY THE KEYPAD WAS BROKEN. So although I typed "£20", the amount that showed up in the box? £2220. I was like WAIT WHAT NOOOOOOO *cancelcancelcancelcancel* *deep breaths*
So yeah. I eventually got my money, then it was onto the foodcourt~ Mmm, pizza baguette. I haven't one in aaages, I'd forgotten how yummy they are ^^ Then after that, to the shop for Ben & Jerry's! We'd already decided that ice cream was a must, as Saiyu put in her journal:
It'll probably be an adventure. We'll probably get lost. There'll definitely be ice cream involved.
I realised this morning that there was a slight flaw in this plan. Where exactly did ice cream fit into our adventure? Then Saiyu had the genius idea of going to the museum and eating it in the gardens there. The best thing about this museum? FREE ADMISSION! \o/ Srsly, I didn't even know such a thing existed. So yes, went and sat in the garden of the museum (it was a very nice garden) and ate a whoooole tub of Phish Food ice cream :3 I'm such a piggie lolol.
After that we explored the actual museum. Usually I'm not that interested in museums - only certain points in history interest me so general museums (or the dumb Roman museum in CB) are boooring. However Saiyu pointed out that this one had a reconstructed WW1 trench :3 :3 :3 Basically the museum focuses on the city, and in particular the army regiment, so there were loads of different sections. It was well exciting! They also had a reconstructed 1930s (or was it 1940s?) highstreet with an actual cobble pavement. It was epic . Oh and the WW1 trench? Was AWESOME. Obviously it's not the first one I've been in, but it was one of the best. I went into the dugout, and was nosing around, checking out the bunks and stuff, and near gave myself a heart attack - there was a mirror half behind a curtain (to give the effect that the dugout is even deeper, apparently), and when I moved to the side I saw my own reflection and jumped about a mile in the air, thinking someone else was there! This is why I don't like small, cramped areas; they make me jumpy! D:
Oh, and another thing that made me jump - I was looking at the various display cases, looking at the medals and gas masks and other such interesting artifacts, when suddenly LOL STUFFED DOG. DDX It made me jump so bad, it was staring at me, and I thought it was real for a minute D: WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO STICK A STUFFED DOG IN A DISPLAY UNIT??? Just because soldiers 'adopted' dogs as rat catchers doesn't mean you need to show an example! I'm sure we're all perfectly capable of imagining a dog. >:
There was also a tiger skin cloak thing :/ Poor tiger. OH AND, this was in the Boer War section (I think) - Saiyu was lol-ing at me going "ewww!" over this tiger head that was in the display cabinet, and then I read the note next to it: blahblahblah hunting was a favourite pastime blahblahblah this tiger head has been made into a snuff box. And indeed, it was on wheels, and had a lid in its head!! GROOOOOOOOSS. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.
So uh yeah. Museum was funky! Now to the actual point of this adventure...finding the gym. There was much panic the other day when Saiyu asked me where it was, as I'd assumed she knew and was going to tell me. Lol no. I remembered one of other friends mentioning that it was near-ish her accomodation, so I told Saiyu to get me there, and then we would wander around until we found it. Rather disappointingly, we found it in about 3 minutes. What an anticlimatic end to our adventure! Oh well, at least we know where we're going now ^^
And then after that we went to Iceland 'cause I needed some stuff. I now have ketchup, which means I can have pasta again! \o/
And to end this ridiculously long post, a couple of Vampire Knight AMVs that Saiyu made! They were a joint effort, in that I suggested some songs/spammed her with music and audio clips and told her to include them XD They make me lol, anyway.
It seems like all I ever do it post memes...
Nothing interesting to update with, I'm afraid. Watching anime and doing revision doesn't really result in an interesting life. But anyway, found this meme, thought I'd fill it in ^^
Two Names You Go By: (other than your given name)
1. Laney
2. Setsugay, I guess. It's an in-joke between me and a friend
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Grey strap top
2. Black 3/4 lengths
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Er. To be loved?
2. To be appreciated
Two of Your Favorite Things to Do: (other than being with kids, family, or dear friends)
1. Sleep! XD
2. Um. RP?
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. Pizzaaaa
2. Cooler weather
Two Pets You Have:
1. A big fat fluffy white cat called Riley
2. A ginger fluffball of a cat called Tara
Two People Who Will Fill this Out: (Uh, maybe?)
1. I...do not know.
2. Saiyu, maybe?
Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. Took forever to fall asleep
2. Rewatched Vampire Knight
Two Things You Ate Yesterday:
1. Mushrooms on toast
2. Chocolate
Two People You Last Talked To:
1. Saiyu
2. Um. Shiro I guess, if leaving a comment on her blog counts?
Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow:
1. Revision, woop woop~
2. More revision
Favorite Holidays:
1. Easter :3
2. Err. Christmas I guess
Favorite Beverages:
1. Water?
2. Dr Pepper
Two Names You Go By: (other than your given name)
1. Laney
2. Setsugay, I guess. It's an in-joke between me and a friend
Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Grey strap top
2. Black 3/4 lengths
Two Things You Would Want in a Relationship:
1. Er. To be loved?
2. To be appreciated
Two of Your Favorite Things to Do: (other than being with kids, family, or dear friends)
1. Sleep! XD
2. Um. RP?
Two Things You Want Very Badly At The Moment:
1. Pizzaaaa
2. Cooler weather
Two Pets You Have:
1. A big fat fluffy white cat called Riley
2. A ginger fluffball of a cat called Tara
Two People Who Will Fill this Out: (Uh, maybe?)
1. I...do not know.
2. Saiyu, maybe?
Two Things You Did Last Night:
1. Took forever to fall asleep
2. Rewatched Vampire Knight
Two Things You Ate Yesterday:
1. Mushrooms on toast
2. Chocolate
Two People You Last Talked To:
1. Saiyu
2. Um. Shiro I guess, if leaving a comment on her blog counts?
Two Things You're Doing Tomorrow:
1. Revision, woop woop~
2. More revision
Favorite Holidays:
1. Easter :3
2. Err. Christmas I guess
Favorite Beverages:
1. Water?
2. Dr Pepper
Thursday 8 May 2008
Music~ makes the people~ come together~
So I was thinking about identity last night while I was trying (and failing, once again) to fall asleep. As you do. And I realised that a person's taste in music seems to be a good way of judging their identity, their personality. I personally hate it when people ask me, "so, what sort of music do you like?" because I don't like to be judged on something like that. However I know that it's pretty likely I will be judged, because my favourite bands? Aren't exactly the most popular anymore.
I always jokingly acknowledge that my taste in music is awful before listing my favourite bands. But why should I feel I have to put myself down, to justify myself? Just because the music I like is different to what other people like or is unusual, doesn't necessarily mean I have rubbish taste. In fact my favourite band was one of the most successful groups of the nineties; their concerts would be sold out within minutes of tickets going on sale and their fans were countless. But because their music is sappy and cheesy, not to mention they are the dreaded boyband (oh noes!), I am shunned for liking them.
But anyway, the point of this entry was not to rant about the unfairness of liking particular music. I had an idea and thought it would be pretty fun. I guess it could even become a meme, maybe.
Choose up to 5 of your favourite bands, then write down the first song of theirs that you heard, and why it made you like the band.
1)
This probably wasn't the first song of theirs that I heard, as my cousin (who is 6 years older then me) became a BSB fan pretty much as soon as they started, and this song is actually from their second album. However it's this song that I have the most memories of, because said cousin also had a video, The Making of ‘Everybody’, which I have fond memories of watching. I loved that video ^^ But anyway, for obvious reasons, everyone links this song to BSB, making it one of their best songs. Not to mention the dance they do at the end of the video was fun to learn :3
2)
My friend from near Sheffield both knows and loves this band, and showed me this song, as it was one of her favourites. I can see why. I heard this song and absolutely loved it (although the video they have since released for it is a bit…odd). I thought the tune was interesting and catchy, and the lyrics quite thought-provoking, which is unusual as usually I don’t give much thought to song lyrics. This was my favourite song for a long time, although having heard a lot of Dead Like Harry’s other stuff, I think ‘Watching Your Eyes’ is actually my favourite, with ‘Shallow Grave’ and ‘Lake Geneva’ coming close second.
3)
I first heard this song on an awesome, awesome, awesome AMV for Fullmetal Alchemist, although I think said video has long since been removed from YouTube, unfortunately. The way the maker of the video had fit clips to the music was simply amazing, it just worked so well. The theme of the song and video just hit a chord with me, and I found myself really wanting the song. However this was before I started getting into bands such as Nightwish or Within Temptation, so I’d never heard of them. It took me a long time to even work out what the song was called, as the video maker hadn’t included many useful tags outside of “fma”, however when I showed a friend the video she recognised the song, and I was able to download it. Since then, I bought all of Nightwish’s albums that I could find; Tarja’s voice is simply beautiful and the band’s music is amazing and fun to listen to.
4)
My best friend showed me this song after saying that she could imagine some characters from a film we both like singing it; she was shocked and appalled when I said I hadn’t heard the song, or any of My Chemical Romance’s stuff, so quickly sent me the song. Again, I really liked the music, and was quite touched by the lyrics: “well mother look what the war did to my legs and to my tongue / You should’ve raised a baby girl / I should’ve been a better son”. Pleased that I liked the song so much, my friend sent me a load of their other music, all of which I really like listening to. As with DLH, I don’t think ‘Mama’ is my favourite anymore, although I don’t think I have a specific favourite. I love all of the album “Welcome to the Black Parade”, as well as the song ‘I’m Not Okay (I Promise)”, but if someone asked me, I couldn’t say which one in particular I prefer over the others.
5)
Again, this wasn’t actually the first song of the band’s that I heard; a friend of mine had become obsessed with the film The Crow and after doing a search, discovered the song ‘Brandon Lee’. She was impressed with the song and how unusual the lead singer’s voice was, so she showed me. To be honest, I wasn’t that impressed. I thought his voice was strange as it was so low, and I wasn’t that wowed by the song. A few days later however, she showed me ‘The Lost Boys’ and for some reason I can’t explain, I just fell in love with the song. What makes people like particular songs, anyway? I certainly can never explain my reasons, I just do. Anyway I later realised this song was also based on the film with the same name starring Kiefer Sutherland) which I had seen and liked, which just made me like the song even more. Once I’d got used to Jyrki’s voice from listening to this song so much, I eventually realised that I really liked their music.
I always jokingly acknowledge that my taste in music is awful before listing my favourite bands. But why should I feel I have to put myself down, to justify myself? Just because the music I like is different to what other people like or is unusual, doesn't necessarily mean I have rubbish taste. In fact my favourite band was one of the most successful groups of the nineties; their concerts would be sold out within minutes of tickets going on sale and their fans were countless. But because their music is sappy and cheesy, not to mention they are the dreaded boyband (oh noes!), I am shunned for liking them.
But anyway, the point of this entry was not to rant about the unfairness of liking particular music. I had an idea and thought it would be pretty fun. I guess it could even become a meme, maybe.
Choose up to 5 of your favourite bands, then write down the first song of theirs that you heard, and why it made you like the band.
1)
This probably wasn't the first song of theirs that I heard, as my cousin (who is 6 years older then me) became a BSB fan pretty much as soon as they started, and this song is actually from their second album. However it's this song that I have the most memories of, because said cousin also had a video, The Making of ‘Everybody’, which I have fond memories of watching. I loved that video ^^ But anyway, for obvious reasons, everyone links this song to BSB, making it one of their best songs. Not to mention the dance they do at the end of the video was fun to learn :3
2)
My friend from near Sheffield both knows and loves this band, and showed me this song, as it was one of her favourites. I can see why. I heard this song and absolutely loved it (although the video they have since released for it is a bit…odd). I thought the tune was interesting and catchy, and the lyrics quite thought-provoking, which is unusual as usually I don’t give much thought to song lyrics. This was my favourite song for a long time, although having heard a lot of Dead Like Harry’s other stuff, I think ‘Watching Your Eyes’ is actually my favourite, with ‘Shallow Grave’ and ‘Lake Geneva’ coming close second.
3)
I first heard this song on an awesome, awesome, awesome AMV for Fullmetal Alchemist, although I think said video has long since been removed from YouTube, unfortunately. The way the maker of the video had fit clips to the music was simply amazing, it just worked so well. The theme of the song and video just hit a chord with me, and I found myself really wanting the song. However this was before I started getting into bands such as Nightwish or Within Temptation, so I’d never heard of them. It took me a long time to even work out what the song was called, as the video maker hadn’t included many useful tags outside of “fma”, however when I showed a friend the video she recognised the song, and I was able to download it. Since then, I bought all of Nightwish’s albums that I could find; Tarja’s voice is simply beautiful and the band’s music is amazing and fun to listen to.
4)
My best friend showed me this song after saying that she could imagine some characters from a film we both like singing it; she was shocked and appalled when I said I hadn’t heard the song, or any of My Chemical Romance’s stuff, so quickly sent me the song. Again, I really liked the music, and was quite touched by the lyrics: “well mother look what the war did to my legs and to my tongue / You should’ve raised a baby girl / I should’ve been a better son”. Pleased that I liked the song so much, my friend sent me a load of their other music, all of which I really like listening to. As with DLH, I don’t think ‘Mama’ is my favourite anymore, although I don’t think I have a specific favourite. I love all of the album “Welcome to the Black Parade”, as well as the song ‘I’m Not Okay (I Promise)”, but if someone asked me, I couldn’t say which one in particular I prefer over the others.
5)
Again, this wasn’t actually the first song of the band’s that I heard; a friend of mine had become obsessed with the film The Crow and after doing a search, discovered the song ‘Brandon Lee’. She was impressed with the song and how unusual the lead singer’s voice was, so she showed me. To be honest, I wasn’t that impressed. I thought his voice was strange as it was so low, and I wasn’t that wowed by the song. A few days later however, she showed me ‘The Lost Boys’ and for some reason I can’t explain, I just fell in love with the song. What makes people like particular songs, anyway? I certainly can never explain my reasons, I just do. Anyway I later realised this song was also based on the film with the same name starring Kiefer Sutherland) which I had seen and liked, which just made me like the song even more. Once I’d got used to Jyrki’s voice from listening to this song so much, I eventually realised that I really liked their music.
Tuesday 6 May 2008
One of me, all of you
Alas, I have nothing interesting to update with. So that means, it's meme o'clock!!
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT
Err. I have one at the base of my middle finger on my right hand from where I accidently hit a brick wall >_>
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
In the room I'm in right now, paint, a kitty poster, Bunny Suicides poster, various postcards, pirate bunting, and a huge-ass noticeboard
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Not that I know of, but I wouldn't know for sure
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
All sorts
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
Yep. 2:50am
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
A mint aero
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Hanging out in the common room at school
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
Errrr. My portable harddrive, ahaha.
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
About 5ft 5 ish
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
A little bit
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Sometimes
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
...Some fictional characters, bawwww
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL?
I don't know any
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Dark? I don't really mind
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING/ BEING PROPOSED TO?
I have no idea
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Neither
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA?
Sweet bbq chicken, from ASDA!
18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A mint aero >_>
19. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
...Can't say that I have, no.
20. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
Ummm. The gift of life lol.
21. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
No
22. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
The tips of my fingers are
23. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I don't care about brands
24. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yep, 4 cats
25. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Cats. Lol. All moggies
26. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU?
I didn't think you could help who you fall in love with...
27. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
I'unno, I'm not good at doing that
28. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
314
29. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Either
30. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
I don't call peopleever often
31. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Hm~ People who spell "tongue" wrong, lolol
32. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE UK?
Lots of times
33. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Choooocolate
34. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Lots of people :3
35. FIRST JOB?
Assistant dance teacher
36. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No
37. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Checking stalkerbook. That's where I found this meme, lol
38. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
No
39. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
Er. I don't think I do
40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Yep
41. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I dunno, it's ages away!
42. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
I don't know yet
43. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My middle name is a family name that gets passed on, but other than that, no
44. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
No
45. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Um. *goes to check* V05
46. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not really
47. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
n/a, I don't like lunch meat
48. ANY BAD HABITS?
Chewing my bottom lip. It gets painful after a while!
49. WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON YOUR SHELF?
My taste in music is pretty naff, so probably every CD is embarrassing
50. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Depends what other!me was like. If we had similar interests, then possibly? This is a silly question.
51. DO LOOKS MATTER?
They're not the most important thing
52. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I don't really get angry often, but when I do I get a pen and paper and scribble all over it. Either that or I do some cleaning :3
53. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
I...currently have 3 homes, lol. I guess my second home would be where my mum lives, at the mo
54. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I don't remember...
55. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
At least 70. I don't know the exact number
56. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID?
Nuuu
57. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
So much so that some people can't tell if I'm being sarcastic or sincere
58. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Ew, neither
59. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
Not really looked before, so I don't know
60. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Laney
61. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER?
Backstreet Boys
62. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Buffy, if that still counts, or Bones; Gundam 00; Vampire Knight
63. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT/SAT SCORE?
My what? o_O
64. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Yes
65. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
Belgium!
66. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR?
I don't drive, but one time my uncle was going over 100mph, and it made me sick >:
67. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?
Er.
68. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
What I've Done - Linkin Park
69. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Water
70. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My mommy on Saturday - it was her birthday ^^
71. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
"zomg, boy" --Just kidding. Usually I notice how much taller they are, and what they look like
72. LAST TEXT YOU GOT?
"Heya, aaages ago I leant you a dvd called Get Over It. Do you still have it? tb xx" <-- This is a LIE, she never leant me that film >:
73. FAVORITE THING TO HAVE?
Chocolate? XD
74. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR?
Whichever one Easter falls in One where it's not too hot or too cold, and there are no bugs
75. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN?
I...don't know. I've never really thought about it
76. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Dark blonde
77. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?
Blue
78. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Ballroom dancing
79. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTURANT?
Pizza hut :3
80. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Nooo
81. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
The raw of Vampire Knight's 5th episode. Want mah suuuuubs
82. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Err. I don't know.
83. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Heh, no. I'm musically challenged.
84. LABOUR, CONSERVATIVE OR LIB DEM?
Lib Dem, probably
85. KISSES OR HUGS?
Meh. Neither. DON'T TOUCH ME 8|
86. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships
87. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Some shopping earlier; pears, mushrooms, chicken, toothpaste and bread. Oh and volume 3 of Vampire Knight
88. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
I don't
89. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Mrr too many. The Blue Nowhere; Catch 22; War of the Worlds; Heart of Darkness
90. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE
Non-existant, at the mo
1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT
Err. I have one at the base of my middle finger on my right hand from where I accidently hit a brick wall >_>
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
In the room I'm in right now, paint, a kitty poster, Bunny Suicides poster, various postcards, pirate bunting, and a huge-ass noticeboard
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
Not that I know of, but I wouldn't know for sure
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
All sorts
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
Yep. 2:50am
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
A mint aero
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
Hanging out in the common room at school
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
Errrr. My portable harddrive, ahaha.
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
About 5ft 5 ish
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
A little bit
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Sometimes
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
...Some fictional characters, bawwww
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL?
I don't know any
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Dark? I don't really mind
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING/ BEING PROPOSED TO?
I have no idea
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
Neither
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA?
Sweet bbq chicken, from ASDA!
18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A mint aero >_>
19. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
...Can't say that I have, no.
20. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
Ummm. The gift of life lol.
21. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY?
No
22. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
The tips of my fingers are
23. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I don't care about brands
24. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?
Yep, 4 cats
25. WHAT KIND IS IT?
Cats. Lol. All moggies
26. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS GOING TO LEAVE YOU?
I didn't think you could help who you fall in love with...
27. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
I'unno, I'm not good at doing that
28. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
314
29. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Either
30. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN?
I don't call people
31. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
Hm~ People who spell "tongue" wrong, lolol
32. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE UK?
Lots of times
33. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Choooocolate
34. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
Lots of people :3
35. FIRST JOB?
Assistant dance teacher
36. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
No
37. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
Checking stalkerbook. That's where I found this meme, lol
38. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
No
39. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
Er. I don't think I do
40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
Yep
41. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I dunno, it's ages away!
42. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
I don't know yet
43. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My middle name is a family name that gets passed on, but other than that, no
44. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
No
45. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
Um. *goes to check* V05
46. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Not really
47. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
n/a, I don't like lunch meat
48. ANY BAD HABITS?
Chewing my bottom lip. It gets painful after a while!
49. WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON YOUR SHELF?
My taste in music is pretty naff, so probably every CD is embarrassing
50. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Depends what other!me was like. If we had similar interests, then possibly? This is a silly question.
51. DO LOOKS MATTER?
They're not the most important thing
52. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I don't really get angry often, but when I do I get a pen and paper and scribble all over it. Either that or I do some cleaning :3
53. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
I...currently have 3 homes, lol. I guess my second home would be where my mum lives, at the mo
54. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
I don't remember...
55. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
At least 70. I don't know the exact number
56. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID?
Nuuu
57. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
So much so that some people can't tell if I'm being sarcastic or sincere
58. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
Ew, neither
59. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
Not really looked before, so I don't know
60. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Laney
61. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER?
Backstreet Boys
62. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
Buffy, if that still counts, or Bones; Gundam 00; Vampire Knight
63. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT/SAT SCORE?
My what? o_O
64. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
Yes
65. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE VACATION SPOT?
Belgium!
66. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR?
I don't drive, but one time my uncle was going over 100mph, and it made me sick >:
67. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?
Er.
68. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
What I've Done - Linkin Park
69. LAST THING YOU DRANK?
Water
70. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
My mommy on Saturday - it was her birthday ^^
71. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
"zomg, boy" --Just kidding. Usually I notice how much taller they are, and what they look like
72. LAST TEXT YOU GOT?
"Heya, aaages ago I leant you a dvd called Get Over It. Do you still have it? tb xx" <-- This is a LIE, she never leant me that film >:
73. FAVORITE THING TO HAVE?
Chocolate? XD
74. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR?
75. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN?
I...don't know. I've never really thought about it
76. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Dark blonde
77. WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?
Blue
78. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
Ballroom dancing
79. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTURANT?
Pizza hut :3
80. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
Nooo
81. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
The raw of Vampire Knight's 5th episode. Want mah suuuuubs
82. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
Err. I don't know.
83. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
Heh, no. I'm musically challenged.
84. LABOUR, CONSERVATIVE OR LIB DEM?
Lib Dem, probably
85. KISSES OR HUGS?
Meh. Neither. DON'T TOUCH ME 8|
86. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
Relationships
87. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
Some shopping earlier; pears, mushrooms, chicken, toothpaste and bread. Oh and volume 3 of Vampire Knight
88. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE?
I don't
89. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
Mrr too many. The Blue Nowhere; Catch 22; War of the Worlds; Heart of Darkness
90. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE
Non-existant, at the mo
Wednesday 30 April 2008
Keep myself awake
I hate it that I am most inspired to write when I should be sleeping. As mentioned in my entry of 12/03/08, I like my sleep. Why, then, is it that my best ideas occur to me in the early hours of the morning? I will be laying there, willing myself to fall asleep (it's a cruel irony that someone who likes sleep so much should suffer from mild insomnia), when the idea for a plot or even just a line to include in a story somewhere will pop into my head. And of course this further prevents me from dropping off; do I risk going to sleep and just hope I will remember to write down my idea in the morning? No, there's no way I'll remember it. So on goes the PDA (turning on a lamp to write on paper instead is a) too much effort, and b) the light would hurt my eyes), tap-tap-tap, I type everything out painstakingly slowly. By this time of course there's no stopping the flow of words and before I know it, it's 5am, I have to be up by 9, and I'm exhausted.
Monday 28 April 2008
Music Meme
Following a conversation with Saiyu, we decided to do this music meme. I was hoping for more variation, but clearly I have too much nineties cheese on my itunes!
None of the stories are linked in any way, and if anyone wants an explanation feel free to ask and I’ll explain what they’re meant to be about~
Rules of the Music Meme:
1. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
2. For each song that plays, write something related to the theme you picked
inspired by the song. You have only the time frame of the song. No fair
skipping songs either; you have to take what comes by chance.
3. Do 5 of these, then post.
1) Crawling Back to You – Backstreet Boys
I was stupid. No. Stupid doesn’t even begin to cover it. I let the best thing that has ever happened to me go because…because I was afraid. There, I said it. Bet you never thought you’d hear someone like me ever admit something like that, huh? But it’s true. I know it’s a cliché, but it was those three little words that I couldn’t handle. I thought I wasn’t ready, thought you were asking too much. Guess I was wrong, because I have just been so goddamn miserable without you. It’s not too late, is it? Will you let me make up for my mistake?
2) Teenagers – My Chemical Romance
I always knew that transferring to a new school would be one of the most difficult things I would ever have to do. I would have to make new friends as well as learn the new teaching style of the school. The latter I would probably work out easily enough. Walking into the students’ common room that first day was the hardest. I didn’t know what to expect, and as all eyes turned to me I knew I had to make a decision and fast. But not only that, I had to make the right decision. Choosing where to sit on my first day would impact my entire school career. The common room was so divided, each clique had their own area. There were the emos, quiet and miserable looking; the geeks, stereotypically reading books and discussing some video game; the plastics, straightening each others hair and discussing a celeb magazine; the sporty ones; the people who didn’t really fit into a clique and so banded together for the sake of having somewhere to sit.
Taking a deep breath and locking my eyes on the group in the corner, I made my way over to the people who would determine how much I enjoyed my final two years of school.
I still don’t know if I sat in the right place.
3) What I Go To School For – Busted
Sometimes he wondered if it was just a phase; it couldn’t possibly be normal to feel this strongly for someone so unobtainable. He tried convincing himself it was just because of his age – teenage boys are prone to lusting after all sorts of women. But his geography teacher? She was in her early thirties, but that didn’t matter to him. The younger teachers didn’t interest him, she had something they didn’t. He kept his obsession quiet, couldn’t bear telling his friends because he just knew they would mock him and then spread it around the school. And that made him feel so alone, but that didn’t mean he would force himself to stop obsessing over her every waking minute. Maybe one day he would even be able to tell her how he felt.
4) Don’t Wanna Let You Go – Five
Pressing her back against the wood of the wardrobe, dusty coats and dresses threatening to suffocate her, she tried to slow her breathing. Her breaths were coming in ragged gasps and she was sure he…whoever he was, would hear her. She closed her eyes, wishing it wasn’t so hot and cramped in the wardrobe. Desperate for a hiding place, she had climbed into it without thinking. Now she realised her stupidity; this would probably be the first place he looked. But there was nothing she could do about that now, only hope and pray to a God she hadn’t believed in for seven years, that her hunter would not discover her.
5) Barbie Girl – Aqua
She was cute, but I couldn’t honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with her. I guess she was just a convenience; the sex was good but other than that the time we spent together wasn’t exactly full of deep conversations. Maybe that makes me an asshole, but whatever. Sometimes I wondered why I kept her around, her voice was so high pitched it upset all dogs within a fifty mile radius and she asked the stupidest questions. But blondes (even if it was from a bottle) with big racks were the ‘in thing’, and I had the hottest girl in showbiz.
None of the stories are linked in any way, and if anyone wants an explanation feel free to ask and I’ll explain what they’re meant to be about~
Rules of the Music Meme:
1. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.
2. For each song that plays, write something related to the theme you picked
inspired by the song. You have only the time frame of the song. No fair
skipping songs either; you have to take what comes by chance.
3. Do 5 of these, then post.
1) Crawling Back to You – Backstreet Boys
I was stupid. No. Stupid doesn’t even begin to cover it. I let the best thing that has ever happened to me go because…because I was afraid. There, I said it. Bet you never thought you’d hear someone like me ever admit something like that, huh? But it’s true. I know it’s a cliché, but it was those three little words that I couldn’t handle. I thought I wasn’t ready, thought you were asking too much. Guess I was wrong, because I have just been so goddamn miserable without you. It’s not too late, is it? Will you let me make up for my mistake?
2) Teenagers – My Chemical Romance
I always knew that transferring to a new school would be one of the most difficult things I would ever have to do. I would have to make new friends as well as learn the new teaching style of the school. The latter I would probably work out easily enough. Walking into the students’ common room that first day was the hardest. I didn’t know what to expect, and as all eyes turned to me I knew I had to make a decision and fast. But not only that, I had to make the right decision. Choosing where to sit on my first day would impact my entire school career. The common room was so divided, each clique had their own area. There were the emos, quiet and miserable looking; the geeks, stereotypically reading books and discussing some video game; the plastics, straightening each others hair and discussing a celeb magazine; the sporty ones; the people who didn’t really fit into a clique and so banded together for the sake of having somewhere to sit.
Taking a deep breath and locking my eyes on the group in the corner, I made my way over to the people who would determine how much I enjoyed my final two years of school.
I still don’t know if I sat in the right place.
3) What I Go To School For – Busted
Sometimes he wondered if it was just a phase; it couldn’t possibly be normal to feel this strongly for someone so unobtainable. He tried convincing himself it was just because of his age – teenage boys are prone to lusting after all sorts of women. But his geography teacher? She was in her early thirties, but that didn’t matter to him. The younger teachers didn’t interest him, she had something they didn’t. He kept his obsession quiet, couldn’t bear telling his friends because he just knew they would mock him and then spread it around the school. And that made him feel so alone, but that didn’t mean he would force himself to stop obsessing over her every waking minute. Maybe one day he would even be able to tell her how he felt.
4) Don’t Wanna Let You Go – Five
Pressing her back against the wood of the wardrobe, dusty coats and dresses threatening to suffocate her, she tried to slow her breathing. Her breaths were coming in ragged gasps and she was sure he…whoever he was, would hear her. She closed her eyes, wishing it wasn’t so hot and cramped in the wardrobe. Desperate for a hiding place, she had climbed into it without thinking. Now she realised her stupidity; this would probably be the first place he looked. But there was nothing she could do about that now, only hope and pray to a God she hadn’t believed in for seven years, that her hunter would not discover her.
5) Barbie Girl – Aqua
She was cute, but I couldn’t honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with her. I guess she was just a convenience; the sex was good but other than that the time we spent together wasn’t exactly full of deep conversations. Maybe that makes me an asshole, but whatever. Sometimes I wondered why I kept her around, her voice was so high pitched it upset all dogs within a fifty mile radius and she asked the stupidest questions. But blondes (even if it was from a bottle) with big racks were the ‘in thing’, and I had the hottest girl in showbiz.
Friday 25 April 2008
Things my heart used to know/ Things it yearns to remember
Today was my last class of my first year at university. It still feels kind of strange that I will essentially be spending the next couple of months doing nothing (other than revision, of course, but that goes without saying). I also can't believe how quickly the last two terms have gone. Before Christmas, I didn't go home at all, and time went nice and slowly, giving me plenty of time to enjoy uni life. After Christmas I went home a few times for long weekends, and of course after Easter we only had three weeks of teaching. I just feel like time has once again run away with me.
Anyway, I found our last lecture really interesting; it was probably one of the most fun classes we've had. We discussed involuntary memory, and were given a worksheet explaining Joe Brainard's technique of listing sentences that begin with "I remember..." as a way of being able to unselfconsciously gather details from your past that you had practically forgotten. Our task was to write solidly for about twenty minutes, coming up with our own "I remember" sentences. It was fascinating, I didn't think I would end up with many sentences as usually my memory is pretty naff, but surprisingly I filled up my sheet of paper! Everyone in the class took it in turns to read one sentence at a time, and it was really interesting hearing about people's past in short sentences. I thought I'd share mine here:
→ I remember thinking my friends meant actual flowers when they asked me if I wanted to join them eating Roses at the park
→ I remember burning stale pringles in a Biology experiment
→ I remember my mum forcing me to eat swede and telling me that I did like it, even though I knew I didn't
→ I remember finding out that my best friend was pregnant - she told me in a text message
→ I remember finding my cat dead on the doorstep one morning as I was about to leave for school
→ I remember my year 7 English teacher's hate of blackboards
→ I remember being annoyed that the boys at my primary school could do handstands when I couldn't
→ I remember eating raw jelly for energy at swimming competitions
→ I remember a friend asking me if I was sure I wasn't French, because I used to eat a lot of croissants
→ I remember being more upset that I'd broken a nail then the fact that I'd broken my arm
→ I remember visiting my brother at the hospital after he'd had an operation
→ I remember watching the play park at the end of my street burn down
→ I remember standing talking to my mum in the dining room when our fish tank exploded
→ I remember forgetting my passport when I was meant to be flying to Scotland
→ I remember being told to focus on the White Cliffs of Dover on the ferry back from Germany when I was feeling sea sick, and thinking that it didn't really help
→ I remember falling down two flights of stairs at my aunt's house
→ I remember being given flowers and chocolate on my first day of work experience in Germany because it was my birthday
→ I remember trying to throw my sandwiches in the bin at primary school because I didn't want to eat them, but being caught
→ I remember being really embarrassed the first time I gave blood because I nearly passed out twice afterwards
→ I remember losing my cousin despite having been holding her hand
Thursday 17 April 2008
My Grandfather
I never knew my grandfather. He died suddenly only a few months after I was born. According to grandma it was completely out of the blue; he hadn’t had an illness or anything that suggested his time in this world was drawing to a close. It was just one of those tragedies that occasionally befalls unknowing families. I later learned that as he got older, my grandfather slowly became more and more unhappy. He sunk into a sort of depression; days were spent hunched over in his over-sized armchair, staring moodily into the blackened fireplace. He refused to explain to anyone what was wrong, and no one could cheer him up. That is, until my parents informed him that his first grandchild was on the way. Grandma has told me many a time that this seemed to cheer him up immensely; he couldn’t wait to meet me, to hold me in his arms. I don’t know why she felt the need to point this out as often as she did. Perhaps she thought that it would stop me from feeling sad about the fact that he had died before I got a chance to know him. But to a child who doesn’t understand such adult concepts as depression though, it wasn’t much of a comfort.
The joy at having a granddaughter was short-lived, though. Just four months later he passed away in his sleep, having gone to bed early the night before. This was as much of a mystery to the family as the man in general was to me. When I was younger, childish curiosity led me to ask what granddad was like. They told me he was a brave man who had fought in “that awful war” – this I realised later was the First World War. Often I would gaze enraptured up at the dusty photographs on the sideboard during visits to see grandma. Amongst the less interesting pictures, showing things like day trips to castles and the like, were the ones that held me truly captivated.
The most interesting one, I thought, showed my grandfather as a young man – although to my youthful mind, he still seemed quite old. This probably stemmed from the fact that most children tend to be of the mindset that any person above the age of eighteen is ‘old’. Although even now, over twenty years later, I still find it hard to fully accept that the young man in that faded photograph was the same as the one wearing a fraying grey cardigan and socks with his sandals in a brighter snapshot of my grandparents at the beach. Of course I know that he would have aged, like everyone does, but maybe it was because for me he only existed in these photographs, so it was strange to see him looking so different.
Young, and with an odd expression on his face. I had never been able to work out why he wasn’t smiling, like the girl whom he had his arm around. This was apparently his younger sister, but even grandma did not know much about her, as she died of flu in 1919. Someone out of shot had obviously said something amusing, because she was laughing, her face upturned as she looked up at her brother. The story I told myself was taking place was that the person taking the picture wanted a nice photo of the siblings, but my grandfather wouldn’t smile for it. The photographer then made some comment about him being grumpy, which made the girl giggle and caused the put out expression on the young man’s face.
Yes, I decided that my grandfather did not like having his photo taken. It seemed the most plausible excuse, considering that I would have expected him to at least look proud. He was standing in a slouch, unlike the photographs I have seen of officers, standing tall and posing with neatly trimmed moustaches. I don’t know how things worked back then, but maybe it was only officers who had ‘official’ photographs taken of them. My grandfather was only a private. Perhaps if he had been a higher rank the photo of him in his uniform would have been more impressive.
The photo is sepia, of course, because they didn’t have colour photographs the same back then. But if it had been in colour, you might not notice. My grandfather the soldier was in the typical British army garb of brown/green uniform. I imagined him and his regiment going on all sorts of adventures, always effectively hiding from the Germans because of their camouflaged uniforms and thus successfully completing their mission. Partly because I was too young to understand that battles were not easily won, but also because my grandfather was a brave, amazing soldier who excelled at everything he did, my imagination was filled with victories. I would imagine them returning to their headquarters triumphantly and having lost not a single one of their own men. Everyone I knew heard about my wonderful grandad.
When I was in my early teens and had outgrown all my childish fancies on what my grandfather might have got up to during the war, my grandma allowed me access to a trunk of possessions that had belonged to my grandfather, which she had kept safely out of the way. The trunk had been abandoned in the attic since they had moved into the house however many years ago and she herself had no particular desire to go through what was in there. But knowing I was interested in finding out as much as I could about my grandfather, she said I was more then welcome to look through it.
Some of its contents I found rather strange. A torn and crumpled rectangle of paper, yellowed with age, was apparently a warning, informing my grandfather that he would be required to join for service with the Colours, which I assumed was something that was sent out to all men who signed up. That my grandad had been ordered to sign up didn’t fit in with vision of him being eager to “do his bit”.
The writing on it was slanted and barely legible, too, so this was one item I didn’t spend much time on.
There were other, more trivial things in the trunk too, including something that looked like a children’s card game – my grandfather must have been in charge of entertainment or something. There was also a hip flask; the bottom half silver-plated glass and the top half covered in dirty brown leather. The leather was worn down in places and the stitching was coming undone. Holding the stained glass in my hands almost reverently, I would imagine my grandfather stranded in No Man’s Land with some fellow soldiers. The Germans were keeping up a steady barrage of machine gun fire and there was no hope of returning safely to their own trenches for hours, yet my grandfather graciously offered the last drops of water from his flask to an injured comrade, giving no thought to his own comfort…
Tied with a scruffy piece of string was a bundle of papers, the corners curled and the handwriting so faded it was barely legible. Ah-ha! Finally I would have hard evidence of my grandfather’s personality, a link through which I could connect to him.
“Dear Mary,” one randomly chosen letter had begun, “I received your parcel and it was most satisfactory. the socks are very comfortable and keep my feet warm – damn this cold weather! I keep thinking of you back home with the fire roaring, and me here with nothing but mud and fleas and corpses. but I wont get into that. I hate it here cant wait to go on leave. One chaps gone mad and been sent down the line – am wondering if this isnt such a bad idea!
from your heavy-hearted brother”
Many of the letters seemed to read in the same way. My grandfather wrote in a despondent way, and I couldn’t for the life of me work out why his letters weren’t more upbeat; they didn’t fit my vision of him at all.
Most intriguing to me though was a tarnished silver watch, wrapped in some old tissue paper underneath all the papers. It didn’t seem to work anymore, but I was still fascinated by it. A watch fob in the shape of a cross was connected to it by a fancy chain, with words that weren’t English inscribed on it. Why was this foreign object in with my grandfather’s possessions? Where had he got it? The little French I remembered from school didn’t help, and I discovered that the three tiny words adorning the cross were German. Gott mit uns. A colleague of mine whose parents were Austrian informed me that it meant “God with us”. I’d read about some amazing things that happened during the war, like soldiers from both sides meeting together in No Man’s Land one Christmas and swapping souvenirs. My grandfather must have done that; a German soldier, perhaps the same age as him, had given him his watch in exchange for something equally exciting. Maybe they’d even exchanged addresses so they could write to each other after the war was over.
That’s what I convinced myself, anyway. My grandfather was a brave man who had done his best to serve his King and Country. Grandma sat through many of my youthful versions of this story, always with the same small smile and moist eyes. Of course, it is only in hindsight that I have come to realise that this was not simply because she missed her late husband. Looking back, it is strange to see how ignorant I was.
It has only been over the last decade or so that people have started taking an interest in the First World War. Books have been published with information on the various battles, not to mention the interviews with men who actually fought in them. It was quite by chance that I happened to end up reading the one that had an interview with someone who had known my grandfather...
We were right in the thick of it when the Germans launched Operation Michael. Manchester Hill, that’s where we were positioned. A terrible, terrible battle for us. Thousands of the enemy came at us. Some parts of the battalion managed to keep them back, but for the most part we were completely overwhelmed. We did our best though, holding our positions as best as we could. I don’t think I’ve ever done so much hand-to-hand fighting. It was brutal. There was one fellow, Bill Harwood – he used to get the wind up something terrible. Almost got court-martialled once, for faking an illness so he wouldn’t have to fight at Ypres. You’ve never seen a bigger coward. He was terrified of dying out there, but he was giving it his all, that day. He was like a thing possessed, sticking the Germans with his bayonet left, right and centre. The 16th Manchesters were practically annihilated, but old Bill survived. I saw him several days later at a casualty clearing station – I had received a rather nasty splinter wound to my right shoulder – and he was half mad. He kept retelling his tale of what he’d done; apparently one of the enemy had found him taking cover in a shell hole and tried to shoot him, but Bill managed to wrestle the pistol from him and shot him right between the eyes. He grabbed the German’s watch as a souvenir, too. Proudly kept it by his bedside all the while he was kept at the hospital. Funny how even the most cowardly of men can become so bloodthirsty when the need arises.
I never knew my grandfather. He only existed in the form of some photographs and long forgotten belongings, hidden away in a dusty old attic.
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