Feed the birds / Tuppence a bag~

I've come to the conclusion that in many, many, many years to come, it won't be humans or robots that rule the world, but pigeons. That's right, pigeons. Why is that? Well think about it; they already crap all over our houses, our cars, us and what do we do about it? Whine and complain. We don't do anything to stop them from doing this, and indeed there's very little we can do. Those pigeons are crafty buggers.

Not only that, but we give them right of way in the street. Well...I do anyway, as I actually have a fear of things fluttering around my face and pigeons are very good at bird-flailing right up in your personal space. But yes, we see pigeons on the ground in front of us and we move to the side and go around them, 'cause they sure as hell won't move until the last possible moment if we continue walking towards them. And if we spot them suddenly flying at us, we stop walking! Again, because they are arrogant little shites and only swerve upwards mere milliseconds before flying into your face.

If you're still not convinced about just how much of a hold pigeons have over humans, how about this: the other day I was walking a couple of friends to the train station when a car driving down the street stopped and started tooting its horn. Confused, I looked up to see what the fuss was, and what do I see? The man leaning out of his window, tooting his horn at...yes, you guessed it. A pigeon. He clearly didn't want to run it over, but being the cocky pain that it was, said pigeon refused to get out of the way. I had a chuckle at this and continued on my way. Not even a minute later the same car starts tooting again; the guy had managed to drive a few more yards up the road before being delayed by another suicidal pigeon who had decided that the road was far more interesting than the pavement.

Really, why not just run the damn thing over?? (I know, I know, that's not a very nice thing to say, but really, they are just flying vermin!!) I have been informed that they apparently pop when you do so, which is pretty amusing, you gotta admit.

I think this is a very valid argument, proving the point that pigeons will one day TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!1!one! Although I might just be biased, as my next door neighbours back home own homing pigeons (why!?!?!?) who enjoy making my life hell by sitting on my window still and staring at me with their creepy little soulless eyes. Little sadists. I fecking hate pigeons.